[MrMon]

You would be surprised how many Orthodox and Conservative Jews follow the rules only sometimes, especially when their fellow congregants are watching, yet blatently flout them at other times. For some odd reason, they don't just convert to Reform Judaism, where they could choose their level of observance and be perfectly accepted. This is probably due to the fact that they would then have to accept others doing some things they don't agree with, and God knows that people love to be judgmental about others. Another reason for a rejection of Reform is that the line of thinking that if Judaism didn't have all these rules that don't make sense, then how would Jews be able to distinguish themselves from Christians, never mind that whole Jesus thing. And people also love to use God as an excuse for their own prejudices, hence getting the rabbi bounced on the charge of marrying a lesbian couple.

I have no doubt your mom was sincere in her whole "community" effort, but people often do strange things as part of a community, behaving one way when in it and another way when away from it. It's not just restricted to Judaism.

As far as you practicing it, I can say that as non-Jew who is married to a Jew and is raising his kids Jewish, it's just a matter of finding a Reform temple that makes you comfortable. Some are a lot more liberal than others, but if you want to maintain some degree of Jewishness, that's where you'll generally find something you're comfortable with. You could also try Secular Humanistic Judaism, but they're so rare, you might have difficulty finding a congregation in your area, depending on where you live.