[Theo_Brixton]

Hello sir, I can definitely feel your pain. I worked at a software company for 5 yrs and was laid off. I had been a 20% ROI on the Party SNG's (and god I sucked then), and I had been playing for over a year making money so I decided to give it a shot full time with only a 4k bankroll and unemployment while having a 2k a month nut at least. I figured if I was playing 30-40 hrs a week instead of 15 I'd be making mad balla money at SNGs, move up to the 215s and Step 5's, and ball happily ever after.

All my life I have coasted on my IQ and been a slacker, but I really gave my all to poker, 100% effort. Unfortunately I really had no idea what I was getting into and have also cried, broken my computer chair, freaked out, cursed the gods, etc several times. Much of this failure was due to my own failings, I believe I have a lot of talent but my roll and experience and maturity were painfully short of what's necessary to thrive in such an undertaking. I've managed to grind it out, even rebuilding from 6$ in my stars account back to over $2k in a week and other such ridiculous feats that have prevented me from ever going completely busto.

I am still a pro 18 months in, but I haven't really gotten anywhere. I have improved immensely, but so have a lot of other people, and the fish aren't as plentiful, and variance is a monster (I'm sure u know the drill). After the Party close, I ran good on Stars until I moved up to the 60s. First day on the 60s, I lost $1300 including 22 in a row OOM and went insane. I ended up tilting some off on PLO and then withdrew all.

I then started over at Full Tilt, and i was a solid 8-10% ROI for a while, nothing great (I then thought) but manageable with rakeback. I then hit a tremendous downswing again trying to move up to 60s, another 20+ buyin loss on the first day of them, then a 1k game break even stretch which caused me to give up SNGs.

I now grind full ring NL cash mostly, with some SNGs and live play thrown in. April was my worst month ever as a pro , losing over 3k.

I can't say that if I could go back in time, that I would not be a low stakes pro, I just would do things differently knowing so much more now.

Luckily I am single with no children, but I'm extremely hard on myself and have beat myself up countless times over failure in poker. I really think it is a tiny portion of people that can succeed as a low stakes grinder with a smallish roll, its really a madman's venture for most.


Eagles - I think a big reason you and others in your situation have succeeded is BECAUSE you don't have to worry about all that huge stressful stuff. I always tell my friends, when you NEED to make money, you can't. I only seem to run super hot in poker when I'm relaxed, confident, and properly rolled.