[SoloAJ]

Dane, I do agree with you that it might make the deaf aspect more powerful. I truly do. As this thread evidenced, and from outside readers, only about half the people are even getting that he is deaf without being told. So maybe ending the piece with "She signed to him, blah blah" would make it more emphatic. But even then, if I take out the sappiness I would probably have to add something to make it more obvious he is deaf.

Something about the piece is making it really hit or miss about whether the reader sees the deaf part. And yeah, let's face it, that is the crux of the story. If you read this without realizing he is deaf (and then rereading) then the story is incredibly mediocre. There is nothing worthwhile to be found in it, in my opinion, without the deaf aspect.

So I really do see your point. But I do like the idea of a wider audience appeal as well. Most Loungers probably aren't going to read this and enjoy the sap. But there are tons of ladies, like you said, that might end up thinking it is a great story just because of that or something.

All in all, it is decisions like this...that I asked for counsel from the Loungers. I know these are ultimatley my decisions, but I want to get readers' opinions before I go with my final decision that I send into the contest.

Variance: Seriously, if the contest judges read this and don't pick up on the deaf part, there is no way in hell this gets published. Zero chance. I mean odds are it won't even if they do, but at least there would be a chance. Haha.