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Old 04-30-2007, 11:19 PM
SoloAJ SoloAJ is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Illinois State
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Default Re: Please respond: a short fiction piece

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Being that it is from Jackson's POV, is Emily really silently playing with her toy, is Jackson really silently nodding... or is this all just allusion to the fact that he is deaf?

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The latter...at least that was my hope. Lots of allusions toward the fact. Not that she or he was making noises and he just couldn't hear, but rather...just playing on the "theme" of silence. (I say theme somewhat lightly, as it is flash fiction).

I agree about the "everyone heard it" confusion. I spent a lot of time toying with that line and trying to think if there was a better way to take that segment of the story. There is definitely a conflict between the 3rd person narrative focusing on Jackson vs. Jackson's perspective.

In the end, I decided that it was going to stay roughly what it is right now. Like I said, for me, and ideally for my audience, the compelling aspect of this story is the rereadability.

In fact, I have decided that when I have people read this, my first judge of 'did I succeed with MY goal?' is if they immediately want to reread the story. For me and my goals, the intriguing part is how rich the story is with those aforementioned allusions and the realization that the story's opening changes meaning entirely once you realize that Jackson is deaf.

So, for that reason, I think that if the person is compelled to reread it and find the little nuances I added, then I feel like I have succeeded.

I realize that the story is not entirely polished and some have qualms with certain aspects (and I have edited it a fair amount at this point, I'll post in a day or two, as said)...I really like the piece right now. I find an incredible richness to the text, considering its length. And I know that the works of other authors that I like, a lot of times relies on MY recognitiion of richness. Whether or not it is really there, doesn't matter. And in the end, that is my hope here....that my readers find richness in it...maybe it won't have been intended, but IF their enjoyment matches my hopes...all the better.
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