[Sniper]

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"the story needs to end with a punch, not punch blah blah blah my heart fluttered."

Yeah, but I think the punch is in learning he's deaf.

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nobody cares about jackson. the story doesn't care and the reader doesn't care.

edit: on second thought, i'm gonna go with john on this one. disregard my previous comments on this point. in fact, i am insisting that you keep that angle in there. anyone who says that "the second paragraph is useless" is an obvious moron.

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You missed the punch on first read, didn't you rothko?... maybe it needs to be easier to catch...