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Instead of lowering your expectations (come on, THAT'S the secret to happiness?!?!?!?!), just spend some time appreciating what you have rather than obsessing on what you don't have and this ceases to be a problem. ANYONE CAN DO THIS
[/ QUOTE ] Strongly disagree. People are NOT built to "maximize" there own individual happiness, but have been built by evolution to increase the fitness of their genes. Not just anyone can do what you are saying; many if not most people have been shaped by millions of years of evolution to not only not do what you are saying everyone can do here, but in fact to do the precise opposite of it.
Obsessing about what one doesn't have and about whether one has made the best decision or not has driven the race for scarce resources and relative status for thousands and thousands of years.
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The
Dan Gilbert lecture suggests differently. He actually says that "We are chasing the very commodity that we have the ability to manufacture within ourselves."
I don't feel particularly persuaded by scientific arguments that tell me I can't manufacture my own happiness because I can. I do. I do it a
lot, and it works out very well for me. All you have to do is take five minutes to sit down, put on some relaxing/inspiring music, think about all the things you do have, think about all the things you're capable of doing in your upcoming years, and it changes your mood. There are no negative externalities, and no one is made poorer by it. It's not that hard to do.
The cool thing about these findings is that understanding the mechanics of happiness makes it much easier to execute it.
Also, I believe that happiness is actually quite essential to our gene fitness. Look at the character traits that are desired in mates: confidence, ambition, motivation. Being happy is extremely essential to cultivating these traits and being productive.