Thread: Pregnant GF
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Old 04-16-2007, 12:46 PM
Blarg Blarg is offline
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Default Re: Pregnant GF

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How far do we take this? I've had conversations with friends about what we'd do if we won the lottery. One of my friends has said he'd buy me a sweet car. Has he wronged me somehow if after winning the lottery he doesn't buy me a car? I think I'd be a fool to assume that what we talked about constituted some sort of binding agreement, because there was little at stake during those conversations.

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This is a pretty lame comparison, obviously, because there is a ton at stake in conversations like "What do we do if you get pregnant?" How seriously should one take what she said? Much depends on the precise nature of what was said, which we don't know. I'll assume OP is telling the truth, for the simple reason that that's the most interesting case to consider.

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Yeah, bad choice of words on my part. Not sure if I can word this the way I want. I think that the level of seriousness beforehand and after the fact are not equal. You're right in that we don't know what they said or how they said it. I'm not so sure I want to accept OP's side of the story without question as many of his posts were incredibely selfish sounding, imo.

Semi-related general comment: much of this discussion has centered around the alleged "agreement" between OP and the girl. Would those one the "run" side be changing their tune if there had been no discussion of what they'd do or this was just a random hookup? Would OP then be more responsible to this child then he is now?

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Just a note: often those on the "there are options" side seem to be lumped in with those on the "run" side. To the former, running is just one option, and of course the critical thing is that it not be swept under the rug that options actually do exist in this life. And that all options should be given serious consideration in such serious situations, rather than resorting to knee-jerk reactions that may make us feel good, but be calls to ill-considered behavior and immaturity rather than anything noble or mature.

For what it's worth, if running is done as a knee-jerk response, it doesn't strike me as much better than having a kid as a knee-jerk response. Although it's certainly better than calling or implying people are murderers or total scumbags for considering all their choices and using that sort of thing as a basis for decision-making or discussion.
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