[TxSteve]

OP,

I agree with you that your life has taken a turn that many, many, many, many men fear.

I have been married for 3 years. I clearly remember a moment on my honeymoon...when I was reflecting on the fact that I was now married. Thinking about how wierd (but good) it felt.

And suddenly suddenly i thought "YES! I made it. I never had to deal with an unwanted pregnancy"

Sounds kind of stupid...but its true. I was always afraid that something like that might happen at an inopportune time and i breathed a huge sigh of relief that i had avoided it.

so i feel i can understand to some degree what you are feeling.

but you have to deal in reality now.

you can take 'miscarriage' off the table since that is totally beyond your control. if i'm remembering correctly from when we had a baby; 20% of women miscarry by 12 weeks. after 12, the chance drops considerably. if she's at 9..i wouldn't be counting on that.

having a baby at 22 certainly makes your life goals more challenging.

but plenty of people have children at an early age and go on to be successful and realize their dreams. it just takes planning and hard work.

as a side note; your posts here seem to primarily reflect your concerns about how this pregnancy affects you. that is reasonable to a degree....

but you've also got to consider it from your girlfriends side: dealing with her own dreams disappearing; her own plans gone awry; the man she loves uncertain of their future; etc.

then there's the 100% innocent child who is likely going to be brought into this world starting from a difficult position....a father full of resentment; a mother insecure, confused, lost and possibly alone?

i know and understand that to you; the way you are affected is most important....but try to also consider things from the other sides as well...


your dreams and goals can still be attained! they will just require a little more work