\"My dad left us...\"
I've heard this phrase all my life. The image it conjures in my mind is the scraggly guy with a dirty wifebeater T-shirt who goes out for smokes and is never seen again.
I've seen it used in this forum a couple times recently, so I'd like to ask everyone what they think of when they hear or use the phrase, "My dad left when I was [insert age]"
Is it a simple statement of fact, or does it carry the connotation of abandonement?
The reason I ask is because I recently broke up with my live-in girlfriend. We have a daughter who just turned three (yesterday; happy birthday baby!)
There was one catastrophic event (not infidelity) that pushed me into leaving, but I was pretty much out the door even before then. I had thought long and hard, and decided that it was better for me to leave than for my daughter to see how her mother was treating me, and that I was taking it to preserve a small measure of peace in the family.
I fought with her mother to gain joint custody. I did manage to squeeze a weekly mid-week overnight in addition to the standard every-other-weekend visitation. After initially saying, "I'll see you in court," my ex has recently started talking about joint custody. I think she finally realizes how much work raising a child is, and how much of it I did when I was there.
My daughter and I really bonded when she was first born, and are very very close. The people at daycare joke about how she has me wrapped around her finger, but often say that she's lucky to have a daddy like me. But I worry that I'll have little control over whether our close relationship continues. (Specific events make the outlook even more bleak, but I wonder if, in general, I even have a shot.)
Am I doomed to be the dad that "left us when I was two..."? Do all kids grow up to view the parent who left as the abandoner?
|