[adanthar]

If this one's on Snopes, I'll be mighty displeased

[ QUOTE ]
So I was at home with my wife when she got a phone call from her brother. He was a Captain in the Army, and had called to tell her that he was getting court martialed for downloading kiddie porn on an Army computer. Of course the first thing I think is, what a dumb [censored], is he that [censored] stupid?

Well Captain stupid swore my wife to secrecy, and she did the same for me, so I kept it to myself. He also told his wife, because his [censored] career was toast and he probably couldn't find a decent lie to explain why. After a few months, he gets a dishonorable discharge, but that lucky [censored] completely avoided any jail time.

Not long after, he gets a job with a private war contractor and gets on a plane to Iraq. Well, my wife and I are going through a divorce at the same time, so it's pretty testy between us, but really I was cool with it. [censored] didn't work out you know? Anyway, she's at our house off and on getting her [censored], signing paperwork, and generally doing the [censored] you do when your marriage is over. So one day she shows up with her mom and dad (who had no idea what their son had done) and they're all wrecks. Dad is all stoic, mom is weepy and ex-wife is red-eyed. Turns out Captain stupid's hotel in Saudi had been suicide bombed and he was one on the casualties. Now this is a shock, but truth be told, I was over that family by this point so I was pretty muted with my response.

"Damn, that's [censored]" was about what I came up with.

Well mom ( who I never relly cared for) decides it's time to unload all her [censored] on me. She proceeds to curse me, berate me, tell me what a loser I was, how much she knew it would never work, etc. Dad is just nodding in agreement. Well, as you can guess, I have the [censored] A-bomb and ex-inlaw is completely oblivious.

"At least I didn't get kicked out of the Army for being a pedophile."

Now, ex-wife, had she been quick enough, could have salvaged it, but mom and dad had their doubts about their son's concocted story from the start, and those doubts, coupled with the ex's expression, pretty much sealed it.

"Now get the [censored] out of my house" That kind of satisfaction, you can't buy it, you have to earn it.

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