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I'm the world's worst best man.
Been asked five times.
Turned down one because it was a shotgun wedding and they had no future. The wife actually got an abortion, claimed it was a miscarriage and the whole thing was over in 18 months. He's now happily married to someone else.
Two times made it through the ceremony, both ended within 5 years. One of them is now happily remarried but didn't ask me to be best man again. Other is closing in on new wife, unknown whether or not I get asked again.
Two didn't even make it to the wedding. BOTH fiancés got knocked up by other guys weeks before wedding date. One married a great girl a couple years later and now is happy with three kids. I was not asked again.
I have been blackballed as a best man amongst my friends and family. I tend to think my friends choose horrible women. By the way, I made these five people my co-best men in my wedding in Las Vegas.
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