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ok main question is this:

if you scratch (cue into a pocket) the cue needs to be placed anywhere behind the headstring (correct?)

what if you have one ball left which is also behind the headstring?

Another question is what happens when you hit the wrong ball first (some people say stnd. scratch some say ball in hand anywhere on table).

I kindve wanna make some stnd rules and like print them out + put em on the wall (we did this for beer pong in boston and it works amazing).

edit: also safeties... is it true that after you hit a 'target' ball one of either your cue ball or the target ball must either go into the pocket or hit a rail (or another ball) to not be a scratch?

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In all American pocket games you must hit a rail or pocket a ball after contacting a ball. You can hit the rail with the ball, the cueball, or any other ball. Hitting another ball does not count. Something must hit a rail after legal contact. Period. My guess is that most bar players don't know that, but it is a rule in all the games. If you don't like it play snooker in London I guess, I dunno.

Standard 8 ball rules give you ball in hand anywhere on a foul. If you play behind the line and your only ball is behind the line, it should spot. I know many bar players don't do this. Forcing a player to kick table length at a ball is crazy when a player fouls. It becomes an advantage to foul. So bar players than often sneer at deliberate safeties or fouls. A small point is that the 3 foul rule does not apply in typical 8 ball games, but some play it I think. So I guess when playing by bad rules learn to "accidentally" miscue into a pocket or something.

When calling shots the only thing necessary to call is the ball and the pocket. the ball can get there by going 10 rails and caroming of 6 balls and the light. Doesn't matter. Ball and pocket. The only game requiring balls go clean is bank pool. I know many bar players like you to have to call minute details of shots.

Pool is a better game when played by actual rules as opposed to the rules often found in bars made up by players who don't know the rules. Avoid playing with them for money, because they will make rules up or start fights and such.