[nineinchal]

My doctor told me to lay off the the fatty foods and beer. Of course he was sitting back in his chair, smoking a Marlboro Red (softpack) and drinking Johnny Walker Black, straight up, while reading the results of my glucose tolerance test. I was choking on the smoke, it was that thick.

I asked him point blank "John, (I can't call him doc since he is drinking and blowing smoke in my face), if I was a smoker would you tell me to stop that too?" He replies "I have to tell you to cease and desist from smoking, I'm a doctor." He says to me " does it offend you that I smoke?" I say, "no, I'm not offended at all, Phillip Morris sends me the dividend checks every quarter, I really don't want anybody to stop smoking Phillip Morris products, including my doctor."

So he tells me to come back in another month, exercise more, quit drinking (I made up the deficiency by smoking weed again), and exercising more. I have to take an EKG in a month too.

Next visit, he hooks me up to the EKG electrodes, with that gooey stuff all over my fat, pale, overly-white and all too hairy body. A lit Marlboro Red is dangling out the corner of his mouth. He does the EKG while holding the electrodes in place, since the hair on my chest won't allow for a complete thorough flush contact with my skin, all while keeping the cigarette going. I am sucking down his second hand smoke, with the ashes on his cigarette almost an inch and a quarter long, about to fall off onto my naked chest; I'm inhaling the fragrances/odor of the Johnny Black as well(he did'nt quit drinking since last month either). He gets done and he says my EKG looks normal. ?????????????????

I mention that possibly the results are skewed due to the fact that he was forcing tobacco smoke down my lungs.??????????????

Then he takes my blood pressure and says "I'm concerned,your pressure is a little high, any changes since last month, you start smoking or something?" I said yeah, I started smoking cigarettes again when I walked into my doctor's office."