[damaniac]

As a Michigan fan, I cannot in good conscience send money. However, I would more than willing to send Tommy Amaker to your place of business to work in your stead. I'm sure he'll have no objection to doing so, not being encumbered by preparations for a meaningful basketball game. I can't vouch for his performance, however. He will probably do a poor job. The upside is that his/your boss will overlook this fact because he is articulate, represents your place of business well, and can't be blamed because of numerous papercuts/grease burns* and other injuries he suffered on the job.

* Depending on whether you work in a cubicle or at McDonalds.