[bones]

As some of you know, I'm currently driving cross-country to live in Vegas. The first leg of my trip was relatively uneventful, other than staying at a hotel in St. Louis where the check-in person was wearing a 2pac t-shirt and a gold grill. And it wasn't pergesu, so yeah...

Today I had the extreme pleasure of driving through Oklahoma. For those of you who haven't been here, it's barren and you can drive real fast. About 10 miles in, I started seeing signs for Indian casinos. I have a problem, so obv I'm stopping. Upon pulling into Miami, OK, I immediately notice a sign proclaiming that Mickey Mantle played youth baseball somewhere nearby. HOLY [censored] PAW, GET THE CAMCORDER!

Miami is essentially Mayberry, so I assumed that it would have one badass casino since obviously no money was going back into the town. WRONG. The casino was basically the size of an airplane hanger. I go in and immediately feel out of place without a John Deere trucker cap. After taking a quick lap, I check out the table games. Craps - nothing going. Roulette- Don't even have a wheel. Blackjack- Meh. Oh wait, whats this? A pai gow table? Ship it! I sit in for $300 and play HU, since there are no asians in Oklahoma. The dealer asks me if I want push or no push. She explains that instead of chopping top and bottom hands, you can put the outcome on a 2 card hand, "basically whoever draws the high card". Excuse me? Pai Gow AND high carding? Yes please. These Injuns know gamboooooooling. I start off hot, both high carding and straight up. Playing quarters I run it up to about 500, then get cold decked for about 3 downs. After about 6 straight pai gows, I excuse myself and get back on the road.

I drive for about another 6 hours before coming up to a new set of neon lights and slots billboards. Deceptively labelled "just off exit 125", Lucky Star was finally arrived at after following 20 miles of state roads into the heart of bumfuck Oklahoma.

I check out the poker room and jumped into a half nlhe, half plo game. Within an orbit it became all PLO, and what a game. It was typically an 8 way limped pot with the only preflop raises coming from aces. First orbit I get it in with the nuts vs FD+ gutterball and don't suck out. Fortunes change quickly when I make the nuts and get paid off by the 8th nuts on several occassions. During this time, I strike up a conversation with a 6 sitting behind me at a hold em table. She's impressed that I'm from a big city like Pittsburgh (really...not kidding) and that I can sweat my cards without lifting them off the table. Unfortunately the 6 also happens to be a ginger. Whatever. After another couple hours, I've doubled up and sufficiently laid enough game with ginger to get her to come outside with me while I "stretch my legs". Once outside, we make out for a minute and head back in. I consider pursuing more, but realize I don't want to accidentally have a soulless baby. I cash out and get back on the interstate for another couple hours. 1 day til Vegas, baby.

Cliff notes-

Brag- Dominated rubes at PLO.
Beat- Made out with a ginger.
Variance- Pai Gow downswing.