[dethgrind]

"but I just really really suck at interviewing--to the point that they don't care about me looking pretty much perfect on paper. I hate talking to random people about myself, esepcially when I secretly think their company is full of crap and I'll despise my job."

I wouldn't bother going to the interviews if that's the attitude you're going to bring. I was in a similar boat when I graduated: perfect on paper but not at all thrilled about the prospect of working for these bs companies. Then I thought about it from their perspective. This guy has the credentials to work anywhere he wants, he's just gonna leave us as soon as he finds a better deal. You have to convince them that you're stoked about working for them and it helps a lot if that's actually true.