[Daliman]

I called my wife about it, and she said it's just an od friend from where she used to live, she's not some nut. Course, then I say that WTF is she doing forwarding emails like this then? I would certainly think that anyone I forwarded emails such as this to would think this is a viewpoint I personally share.

Funny thing is, here are some ofthe other emails she sent today;
[ QUOTE ]


Whispers
>
>
> The man whispered, "God, speak to me"
> and a meadowlark sang.
>
> But, the man did not hear.
>
> So the man yelled, "God, speak to me"
> and the thunder rolled across the sky.
>
>
> But, the man did not listen.
>
> The man looked around and said,
> "God let me see you."
> And a star shined brightly.
>
>
>
> But the man did not see.
>
> And, the man shouted,
> "God show me a miracle."
> And, a life was born.
>
> But, the man did not notice.
>
> So, the man cried out in despair,
> "Touch me God, and let me know you are here."
>
> Whereupon, God reached down and touched the man.
> But, the man brushed the butterfly away .
>
>
>
> and walked on.
>
> I found this to be a great reminder that God is always around us in the little and simple things that we take for granted ... even in our electronic age
> So I would like to add one more:
>
> The man cried,
> "God, I need your help!"
> And an e-mail arrived reaching out with good news and encouragement.
>
>
>
> But, the man deleted it and continued crying
>
> Don't miss out on a blessing
> because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.
>
> My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless
> and I picked you. Won't you please pass this to people you want to be blessed.
>
> Expect the unexpected.....Have A Happy Day!

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He
rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the
backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever
sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So,
what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I
was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In
no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in
rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years
running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting
any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the
airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious
characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I
got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"


"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that [censored]. "


YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by: George Carlin



I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.


I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!


I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.


I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.


I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.


My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.


I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.


I've never owned a slave, or was a s lave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.

I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA.


I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?



I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry rear if you're running from them..


I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause.


I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.


And what is going on with gas prices... again?


I believe "illegal" is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!


If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.


If y ou are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We want our country back!


<font color="blue"> Of course, this is actually, NOT by George Carlin.</font>


To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.

I love you.

P.S.

And, remember...

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself !! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.




Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.




If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.





Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.





Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.





Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

&lt; BR&gt;


Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.





Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.





Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.





Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
Bolded by me for emphasis on hypocrisy.





Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

Now, you have a nice day,

God



[/ QUOTE ]

Color me not surprised that ignorance such as this likely comes from someone pushing their religion.