[Hopey]

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1) Will I be able to get a stripper for tonight if I only am able to give her ~8 hours notice?



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Strippers always require at least 6 weeks' notice. There are no exceptions.

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2) How do I find the numbers for strippers that come to residences? I tried looking in the phone book, but there is nothing under stripper. Is the escort section the correct section to call?

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Absolutely. "Escort" is just another word for "stripper". They're one and the same.

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3) How do I tell them what kind of girl I want? If I want a thin, attractive, white girl, do I just say that?


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All strippers are fat, ugly, and black. You need to revise your expectations.

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4) Can you get strippers to come for just a 30 minute show, and how much will this end up costing?


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A six to eight hour show is the minimum amount of time that any self-respecting stripper will agree to be hired for. This will cost you approximately $26,000 + gratuity.

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Thank you so much, hopefully it is not too late because honestly a stripper would be awesome tonight.

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No problem. Also, when you call the escort agency, ask for a "tranny" -- this is code for "extra hot".