[kotkis]

I had a horrible start to January where I dropped 11k straight playing 6-max 5/10 on Party, mostly due a bad run of cards but included some tilting too. That made me really sad so I stopped playing for a while and instead started playing HU on FTP, which is what I've been doing to this point.

The sad truth is that my head handles the swings much worse than I would have hoped, and I'm not sure if there's any room for improvement for me in this area. Tilting while running bad is only a small part of the proble, and maybe the biggest issue I'm facing right now is improving my work ethic. Whenever I go on a mini-heater I feel like I've done enough for the day and I want to quit while I'm ahead so my avarage session length is truly pathetic. This combined with the facts that it's much easier to find a game and just jump in in 6-max, and that HU variance is way more intese makes me struggle to get just 1k hands per day in. Furthermore I find myself passing up on a lot of games where I'm almost sure I'd be +EV but not neccessarily by much simply because I know from experience that when two closely mathed opponents go at it, dropping 10 buy-ins in a whim is nothing. The pain of losing is more intense than the pleasure I get from winning, and if my sub-conscious mind could decide all my sessions would be very short and well targeted blitz-strikes vs. the true donkeys so that I could maintain a ridiculous win-rate and avoid any neccessary variance.

Am I just being a vag?