[Huggle Master]

Hi everyone,

I heard you were all talking about me in a manner of speaking and I felt that it was time to clear the air.

I am the huggle master. It concerns me deeply to learn of Brandi's sad tale of woe, not because I am sympathetic towards the little skeez, but because I coined the term "huggle" and moreover, copywrighted the "penis on the back" move.

Captain Tom now owes me royalties for employing this move without my written, expressed permission.

As for Brandi, I would be happy to sponsor her, and stake her in various tournaments, but for this I will require no less than 3 huggle sessions, 2 handjobs, 1 anal session and her turning over her bankroll to me to hold. Uhm, for safekeeping, of course. You never know what sort of mean evil poker players there are out there, and 12K is an awful lot of money for a strip-er, nice girl like her to be hauling around.

I mean, my stars - if she were frisked by the police, they might mistake her for a prostitute.

I know after reading the accounts of her last couple of years I sure drew that conclusion.

Zing!

Anytime any of you want to huggle, you know where to come. I love you all,

~Huggles