[innerpeace]

your story is very unfortunate, though what's even more unfortunate is that stories like yours don't surprise me in the least bit. most people who started playing poker after the rounders / moneymaker / tv era don't realize just how many unsavory characters there are in the poker ecosystem.

espn, the wpt, and others haven't helped matters much by going out of their way to glorify numerous poker players - many of whom in reality are degenerate gamblers with highly checkered pasts, often perpetually broke, and facing a host of other unhealthy addictions. there are stories about many poker players, even those portrayed as saints on tv, that would probably surprise you.

i won't cast judgements on your playing ability, but i will say this much:

first, to be able to make poker a long-term vocation, you need to have considerable inner emotional strength. from your initial post, it strikes me that you have a lot of work to do in that area. most people don't realize how taxing playing poker as a primary source of income can be (though it is probably less so now in the internet era than it was in the pasts for a number of reasons i won't go into).

second, to survive in the poker community, you really have to be very guarded. you should hold your cards close to your vest. there are some reasonably trustworthy poker players out there, but you haven't been around long enough to know who these people are, and even if you did, they probably wouldn't trust you because you're new to the community.

third, it takes quite some time to know whether you are actually a long-term winning player. poker can be very deceptive in that you can make the wrong decision at the right time. this is especially true in no-limit games. having a few cashes under your belt is a good start, but you have a ways to go. there are many cases of beginner's luck in poker (and poker actually lends itself to the beginner's luck phenomenon). the more you play and the more you are known, the harder things can get. you'll see time and again someone splash on to the poker scene having recently learned the game and cashing or final-tabling at a slew of events. very few of these people make it.

this isn't meant to directly discourage you, but to give you perhaps a more realistic expectation of what is involved when playing poker for a living. there is much truth to the adage that poker can be a tough way to make an easy living. in any event, i hope that you are able to resolve your issues, and that everything works out.