[Dr. Eutt]

It is me

Dave Sklansky

That Dave Sklansky!
That Dave Sklansky!
I do not like
that Dave Sklansky!

Would you like to come home with me?

I do not like you, Dave Sklansky.
I do not want to go with thee.

Would you like it in a car?

I would not like it in a car.
I would not like it on a bar.
I do not like you, Dave Sklansky.
I do not want to go with thee.

Would you like it on the beach?
Would you like it with a peach?

I do not like it on the beach.
I do not like it with a peach.
I do not like it in a car.
I do not like it on a bar.
I do not want to go with thee.
I do not like you, Dave Sklansky.

Would you do it in the can?
Would you do it with Aunt Jan?

Not in the can.
Not with Aunt Jan.
Not on the beach.
Not with a peach.
I would not do it in a car.
I would not do it on a bar.
I would not want to go with thee.
I do not like you, Dave Sklansky.

Would you? Could you?
In a jiff?
Do me! Do me!
Here's a spliff.

I would not, could not, in a jif.

You may like it.
I'm in rut.
You may like it in the butt!

I would not, could not in the butt.
Not in a jiff! You filthy [censored].
I do not want it with Aunt Jan.
I do not want it in the can.
I do not want it with a peach.
I do not want it on the beach.
I do not want it on the bar.
I do not want it in a car.
I do not want to go with thee.
I do not like you, Dave Sklansky.

A plane! A plane!
A plane! A plane!
Would you do me on a plane?

Not on a plane! Not the Sorbonne!
Not in a car! Dave! Leave me alone!
I do not want to go with thee.
I do not like you, Dave Sklansky.

Say!
In the park? Here in the park!
Would you do it in the park?

I would not do it in the park.

Would you you do it on the Strip?

I would not, could not, on the Strip.
Not on the Strip. Not on a plane.
Not in a car. Not on the beach.
I do not like you, Dave, you leech.
Not in the can. Not in the park.
Not with Aunt Jan. You dirty fox.
I do not want to go with thee.
David, stop it, you're creepy.

You do not want to get with me?

I do not want to, Dave Sklansky.

Would you do it with a horse?

Are you crazy, no, of course!

Would you do it with my friend?

I will not do it with your friend.
I will not do it, that's the end.
I will not do it on the Strip.
I will not fall into your grip.
Not in the park! Not on the beach!
Not in a plane! Out of your reach!
I do not want it with a peach.
I do not want it on the beach.
I do not want it in the can.
I do not want it with Aunt Jan.
I do not want it on a bar.
I do not want it in a car
I do not want to go with thee.
I do not like you, Dave Sklansky.

You do not want me.
So you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.

Dave!
If you will let me be, I will do you.
You will see.

<at which point in our story, the heretofore tormented hero cautiously
makes love to David Sklansky>

Say!
I'm glad I went home with thee.
I do! I liked it, Dave Sklansky!
So I will take it in the can.
And I will do you with Aunt Jan.
And in a park. And with Ray Zee.
You are so good, so good, you see!
And I will do you in a car.
And I will do you on the bar.
And I will do you here and there.
Say! I will do you ANYWHERE!

I do so like
relations with thee!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Dave Sklansky!