[Ron Burgundy]

I've lived in Round Rock for 3 months now. I've seen one roach. It was in the garage. I stepped on it. It died. Whoopee.

I lived in Chicago for the first 23.5 years of my life. I saw hundreds of roaches. One time I went to wipe my face with a towel after brushing my teeth and a roach popped out. I almost ate the [censored] thing.

Roaches are everywhere. If you let the roaches decide where you live then the roaches will have won.

Ok, enough talk about roaches!

The first week I was here was the last week of July. I turned on the local news to see the weather report:

Weatherman: Here's the 5-day forecast folks. Monday, sunny, high of 95. Tuesday, sunny, high of 95. Wednesday, sunny, high of 95. Thursday, sunny, high of 95. Friday, BIG COLD FRONT MOVING IN! High of 93 and partly cloudy!

Anchorman #1: Whoa!

Anchorman #2: Nice!


When I told people in Chicago I was moving here, they were all like "OMG everyone's gonna talk like a stupid hick, you won't be able to understand anyone!" This is absolutely untrue. The only thick southern accents I've encountered are from people who are from different parts of TX. And I very rarely see big ridiculous cowboy hats and boots.

I'd like to get some recommendations from the Austin people here on where to play golf. So far I've only hit balls at the range at the Golfsmith headquarters. I'm so excited about being able to hit off real grass for $9 as opposed to rubber mats for $11 in Chicago, that I've spent all my golf time at the range.