[Zoelef]

Ahh, subjectivity. It's so difficult to develop substantial confidence in any team at this point because we see so little from the starters in the preseason. Still, from what I've seen I hope that my picks won't backfire. Not bloody likely...

$400 Bengals +2
The Bengals looked sharp and prepared this preseason; their offensive core returned in full and the GM invested in their defense as well. The Chiefs, however, lost their best OL and changed coaching gears from offensive to defensive. That's not to take anything away from KC, they have a gamebreaking RB against a previously forgettable defense. Still, I'm going with my gut, as it reacted to this line as "The Bengals are underdogs!?"

$300 Jets/Titans UNDER 36
The Jets have a medicore passing game and a potential train-wreck at the RB position. The Titans just hired their starting QB, have no major receiving threats, and their starting RB (whomever it is) will not overwhelm any defense. I don't see either of these teams putting up more than 17 this Sunday, so I'll take the under. Furthermore, I dub this the "PowerPoint" game of the week. It might not be as catchy as MT2R's liberal use of "Woodshed" games but I might as well try.

$200 Patriots -9
J.P. Losman is going to lead his gung-ho offense into oxboro and lay a whoopin' on QB Patriots and company.

Uh, no.

But after the NE massacre, don't forget to watch NFL Primetime, where Mike Ditka will invariably blurt out that the Bills' players "hate their coach." When this happens, you'll see me betting the Bills a hell of a lot more for some stupid reason.

$100 49ers +8
I have no idea and this is probably -EV, *except* that there are excerpts from articles implying that the 49ers have been training with kettlebells during the offseason. Since I haven't used anything rational and scientific to justify any of my previous picks, why start now?

Final thought: If the Texans drafted Reggie Bush and the Saints drafted Mario Willams, then NO/CLE would be the Powerpoint GOTW: "McAllister! Frye! It's Sunday NFL on NBC!"

<u>Cliff Notes:</u>
Criminally unentertaining banter/filler.

$400 - Bengals
$300 - Jets/Titans UNDER
$200 - Patriots
$100 - 49ers