[bav]

It's about 3am at MGM and a very, very drunk fellow from Wichita sits beside me. He buys in for $100, and clearly has no clue what he's doing. He just kinda does what the dealer tells him, putting in blinds, folding or betting randomly when the dealer tells him to do something. He's already played and won a couple hands without a showdown when he holds up a red chip and asks me "how much are these worth?" "Five," says I, "and the blues are one." "ooookay".

We play on and pretty soon the table catches on that this is no poker rocket scientist (not hard to figure out when he calls a $20 bet on the river holding eight high). So eventually this guy ends up all-in, his A4o vs someone's 99, and an ace hits. So he's got like a bit under $200 when comes the hand... It's a three-way all-in, and the drunk's KQs flops a straight and turns a flush and sends the other two packing.

So the drunk is raking in like $500 and he again holds a red chip up and says to me "so you said this is five cents, right?" "No, that's five dollars". His eyes get big. "Are you XXXXing me?" "No, that's five dollars". And he starts babbling "oh geez, oh crap, oh man...I have to get out of here--DOLLARS??? Oh god.".

As he's leaving he says "you won't believe this, but I'll let you in on my secret--this is the first time I've ever played this game."