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Forum: Other Other Topics

06-26-2007, 11:52 AM

Replies: 68

Therapist The Rapist

Views: 463

Posted By Jack Handey

Re: Therapist The Rapist

[ QUOTE ]
"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a...

Forum: Other Other Topics

03-14-2007, 02:51 PM

Replies: 123

advice that can be boiled down to one sentence

Views: 779

Posted By Jack Handey

Re: advice that can be boiled down to one sentence

[ QUOTE ]
Ah, Deep Thoughts of Jack Handey. Long time since I've read them!

http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com/

[/ QUOTE ]

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not...

Forum: Other Other Topics

03-14-2007, 11:50 AM

Replies: 123

advice that can be boiled down to one sentence

Views: 779

Posted By Jack Handey

Re: advice that can be boiled down to one sentence

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

Forum: Other Other Topics

03-14-2007, 02:41 AM

Replies: 123

advice that can be boiled down to one sentence

Views: 779

Posted By Jack Handey

Re: advice that can be boiled down to one sentence

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Forum: Other Other Topics

02-11-2007, 11:56 PM

Replies: 13

Costume Ideas

Posted By Jack Handey

Re: Costume Ideas

If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.

Forum: BBV4Life

02-09-2007, 02:00 PM

Replies: 14

BBV4LYFE HELP: PUKE ON CARPET :(

Posted By Jack Handey

Re: BBV4LYFE HELP: PUKE ON CARPET :(

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

Forum: BBV4Life

02-09-2007, 01:57 PM

Replies: 13

Beat: Intern Interview

Posted By Jack Handey

Re: Beat: Intern Interview

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

Forum: Other Other Topics

02-09-2007, 01:52 PM

Replies: 52

Murder Death Kill

Views: 198

Posted By Jack Handey

Re: Murder Death Kill

Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.

Forum: Other Other Topics

02-09-2007, 01:46 PM

Replies: 99

attention morons who thought that chris angel was real

Views: 406

Posted By Jack Handey

Re: attention morons who thought that chris angel was real

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll...

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