Two Plus Two Newer Archives - BIGBABYJESUS IS SOUNDING OFF

Another day in the life of Baby Jesus and another day being smitten and bitter at all that exists around me.

First, let me off start off with goddamn Match.com. God I hate this site. Right now I’m 0 for 13 in messages sent out to replies; and yeah, I researched this [censored] on “seduction” web sites so I don’t send off pathetic “you’re beautiful” messages. I actually spend time on them and try to make them cocky/funny and related to her profile.

In my defense, I have only messaged attractive girls (7+’s on a normal scale.) But that’s why I also hate this dating site that’s been crammed down my throat through advertising. Every goddamn girl that is slightly bangable gets 50 messages a day from horny, desperate dudes like me who have no balls to actually go approach women in real life.

It’s [censored] sick, a 6 on Match.com feels like a 10 with all the goddamn attention she gets. These thunder thigh whores don’t need these kind of ego boosts; they should be starving themselves and throwing up those In & Out Animal Style burgers just so they can cope with looking at themselves in the mirror.

And goddamn Los Angeles. I am white and feel like I’m swimming in a sea of tints of brown. Listen, I’m not trying to be racist here, but if someone is not white they will do a terrible job or service at whatever they are doing (well, I’ll give Asians a break, they work hard.) And that especially sucks because LA is like 3% white therefore anytime I need anything done it’s going to be some Mexican who doesn’t speak English outside of the Taco Bell menu or some dude from the middle east who probably wants to kill me.

Example: I bring my Honda in to a Honda “certified” service center to get the A/C looked out cause it ain’t blowing cold air. Next day they finally call me at like 6pm telling me they’ve found the problem, and ordered a new A/C motor which will take a few days so come pick up my car.

So I bring the piece of [censored] (that I just bought, thanks to all you TAGfish who think my nitty ass would ever bluff) in again. It takes 2 days to get my car again. This time, I call them. Oh, it’s ready? I even heard the dumb Tijuana born fence jumper say while inquiring about the status of my car to her co-worker, “oh it was ready on Tuesday?” (It’s now Thursday.)

[censored]! NOT ONE WHITE PERSON OBV AT THIS SERVICE CENTER! IF THERE WAS, MY CAR WOULDA BEEN READY IN AN HOUR! AND THEY WOULDA CALLED ME TO TELL ME!!!

Now it’s two weeks later. I finally actually want to torture myself by driving my car into downtown LA and the AC IS NOT BLOWING COLD AIR! MY GOD! THEY EVEN ORDERED A PART AND IT DOESN’T WORK!

So now I’m sweating my balls off driving in bumper to bumper traffic on the 405 (AKA WHY THE [censored] DO I LIVE HERE INTERSTATE), in a misery of heat and exhaust. To my left, is an illegal immigrant driving a 1992 Honda Accord (but probably with working A/C.) To my right, is an illegal immigrant driving a 1985 Ford Ranger that by some miracle of God still runs. In front of me, is a black guy driving a 64 Cadillac who will hopefully follow me home and murder me to save me from this eternal hellhole of a city.