Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Ok... fun times... just met with a judge this morning to schedule my court date before being released...

here's the story... Been with this girl for six months... she is way hotter than I usually pull... I told her I would quit smoking weed for her... I show up to her house lit up like a x-mas tree, and she asked me if i was stoned... "of course not baby"... feeling bad, I call her an hour after I left and confess and apologize... She becomes extremely pissed calls me an a-hole and hangs up...

I was supposed to go over her house for a dinner party that night... I call her several times to see if we are still on, but she doesn't pick up at all...

I say whatever and make plans with my buddies... Around 8:30 (I was supposed to meet my girl for dinner at 8:00) I receive a call from my girl saying we are still on... By this time I'm not going to flake on my friends (and i'm already buzzed and not able to drive) and say I'll meet her out with my friends ( she was going out with her friends)... She hangs up...

I continue drinking with my buddies, she calls me at 10:00 and tells me not to bother meeting up with her, she ran into her old boyfriend and was having fun [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

i proceed to order several rounds of Jack Daniels shots... Upon leaving the bar (around 1:00) I'm completely hammered... I call her phone and a guy picks up...

I immediately shove my fist through the window of a flower shop next to the bar... Gushing blood, my buddies try and get me into their car... I say FU all, and begin to walk down the street screaming C--- bombs as I went...

It took about 20 seconds for the cops to come get me... Instead of thinking of something genius like I'm really drunk and I accidentally fell through the window (I could probably sue them if i were shady) I told them exactly what happened... I'm screaming hysterically, and before I let the ambulance take me away, I insist I call the C--- one more time ( the police shockingly comply not wanting to touch my blood soaked clothes etc...), covering my new $300 phone in blood... I'm taken to the local hospital where the cops proceed to imitate me going crazy while I'm getting stitched up... I ask to be taken to the bathroom after getting stitched up, and couldn't go... another man unzipping me while I was handcuffed was not cool...

I pissed myself on the way to San Jose County, where I was being charged with felony vadalism... I called the girl to talk to her the next morning, and her ex boyfriend had "slept on the couch" aka taxed and waxed her... She then DUMPED ME because she didn't like to date convict...

Oh, and I was busted out of a $200 FT sit n'go the first hand this morning... My aces vs. opponents JJ all in pre flop...

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Consider suicide in order to help the human race?

If that isnt allowed under current rules, by all means make it more offensive against OP. Thanks mods.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

All because you smoked pot. LOL

I give this a 6.. only because of urination on self, and gf getting tagged by ex.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Whenever I hear hot and seemingly normal girls bitch about how they can't find a good guy, all guys are a-holes, guys are so bad, blah blah meowchow, I inevitably discover that they have a fancy for men like the OP.

Who is the bigger moran? OP or the girls that like OP?

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Don't date girls who want you to stop getting high.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

The real beat is that you're an idiot. No amount of luck is going to change that. Good luck with life.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

I never understood the thinking behind getting pissed off cus ur gf is on on another doodz jock and then putting your fist through an inanimate object.

Back in my college dayz (yes we had to dodge dinosaurs across campus), my roomate got pissed cus he spotted his current girl with another dood. He proceeded to get dungk and fist a window. I asked him then, and I'll ask you now, "If your going to get done by the coppers anywayz for fisting something, why not just put your fist thru the dude instead of an innocent plate of glass?"

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
I never understood the thinking behind getting pissed off cus ur gf is on on another doodz jock and then putting your fist through an inanimate object.

Back in my college dayz (yes we had to dodge dinosaurs across campus), my roomate got pissed cus he spotted his current girl with another dood. He proceeded to get dungk and fist a window. I asked him then, and I'll ask you now, "If your going to get done by the coppers anywayz for fisting something, why not just put your fist thru the dude instead of an innocent plate of glass?"

[/ QUOTE ]

QFT

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

eminem style, pistol whip that [censored]

Also.

Call her a bitch.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Also.

Call her a bitch.

[/ QUOTE ]
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