Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

This is funny, but true.

Becoming Illegal
(Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen
is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert

Burlington, IA

Re: Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

Ho! Ho! Ho! That sure is funnneeee!

But the funniest parts are these:
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Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider.

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You don't have to be illegal to do this, you can do this now! Give it a shot, I think you will see the wisdom behind having insurance and a regular doctor quickly.

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Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications

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I am unaware of any law schools giving preferential treatment to illegal aliens, link please? Or is this more of the 'funny' stuff?

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Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums.

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Again, you can do that right now! You can drive illegally with no DL and no insurance just like the aliens! Give it a shot, see how much fun you have.

Re: Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

My sides are splitting...



..I hate when people try to push some political point with a poor attempt at humour

also obviously fake.

Re: Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

Someone is cranky on Valentine's Day.

Ray

Re: Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

I just dont understand why so many people defend illegal aliens.

Re: Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

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I just dont understand why so many people eat in restaurants and go to car washes

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Re: Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

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I just dont understand why so many people eat in restaurants and go to car washes

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It is absurd to think that if illegal aliens were not in the US then these businesses would just disappear. Wages would go up until the jobs were filled and prices would go up. So the lower class income would increase at the cost of mainly the middle class. So the lower class is suffering the majority of the cost of illegal immigrants.

Re: Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

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I just dont understand why so many people eat in restaurants and go to car washes

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It is absurd to think that if illegal aliens were not in the US then these businesses would just disappear. Wages would go up until the jobs were filled and prices would go up. So the lower class income would increase at the cost of mainly the middle class. So the lower class is suffering the majority of the cost of illegal immigrants.

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That's not necessarily true. Even if your assessment of the relative burdens and costs is correct, it's also possible that the lower classes would lose and the middle class would lose even more.

Re: Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

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I just dont understand why so many people eat in restaurants and go to car washes

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It is absurd to think that if illegal aliens were not in the US then these businesses would just disappear. Wages would go up until the jobs were filled and prices would go up. So the lower class income would increase at the cost of mainly the middle class. So the lower class is suffering the majority of the cost of illegal immigrants.

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That's not necessarily true. Even if your assessment of the relative burdens and costs is correct, it's also possible that the lower classes would lose and the middle class would lose even more.

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Are you saying that the lower class and middle class would lose even more if there were no illegal immigrants?

Re: Funny letter sent to Senator Harkin(Iowa Dem)
 

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I just dont understand why so many people eat in restaurants and go to car washes

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Oh, ya, I forgot that my parents and grandparents had too cook themselves and drive around in dirty cars before the influx of illegal aliens. good point, douche.