Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment
 

I tend to be very unforgiving toward people who don't stick to their resolutions. Especially if it is chronic. At the very least I expect tham to take note of their propensity to continue eating, drinking, not exercising, not studying, or whatever, after they tell everybody how they will change. Which means at the very least they should stop making these statements so as not to continue disappointing people around them. Tell us AFTER you accomplish something.

The reply I get is that I should understand human frailty better. Some people have little willpower and it is cruel for me to expect them to confront that fact. If they want to continually talk about their plans for the future, that I know won't happen, I should just let them.

They also go on to say that the ability to show willpower is an individual thing. I can't judge unless I walk a mile in their shoes. Perhaps they have just as much willpower as I do. They don't push themselves like I do (I actually do in some regards, notwithstanding my "laziness" admission elsewhere.) because the discomfort or pain is greater to them than to me. Whether it be doing twenty pushups, drinking pomegranite juice, or reading a science book.

I agree. But then to rebut them I propose an experiment. I offer them money to entice them to do what they never do after merely saying they want to and will. And lo and behold they now do it! This has actually happened for moderate money. When it does, I claim that their arguments about themselves have been shown to be basically hogwash. Am I being too tough on them?

Re: Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment
 

do you respect people who put their mind to something and stick with it no matter what more than people who change their minds?

Re: Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment
 

Probably not. It seems that it's a matter of what it takes to motivate someone to change. Apparently a sufficient monetary incentive will often provide enough motivation.

Re: Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment
 

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Probably not. It seems that it's a matter of what it takes to motivate someone to change. Apparently a sufficient monetary incentive will often provide enough motivation.

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Yup. Some people just need some extra motivation.

Re: Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment
 

They change their behavior because of the promise to someone other than themselves and have a stake in it with that person. If you perhaps bet against them they would most likely not take the bet but if you offer money for doing it you are teaming up with that person and supporting them in a goal they want but never follow through on. To be successful at anything in this life your either gifted or part of a team. I would venture to say that the money isn't as important as the team created. The fact that they don't want to let two people down is substantial. The money is just a validation for sincerity.

Re: Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment
 

Did you mean: pomegranate?

~
 

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They change their behavior because of the promise to someone other than themselves and have a stake in it with that person. If you perhaps bet against them they would most likely not take the bet but if you offer money for doing it you are teaming up with that person and supporting them in a goal they want but never follow through on. To be successful at anything in this life your either gifted or part of a team. I would venture to say that the money isn't as important as the team created. The fact that they don't want to let two people down is substantial. The money is just a validation for sincerity.

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How are they letting down the staker? If they succeed, DS loses money. I don't think he necessarily wants them to succeed. This is not a situation where both people benefit if the first one succeeds. I don't see how a team is formed here.

~MagicMan

Re: Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment
 

"Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment?"

Yes, and not nearly hard enough on yourself.

The thing you loathe in others (lack of "willpower", aka "accountability") is from your own shadow. From yourself. Hence your sharp attention to it and identification of it-- in others.

The drama repeats until you master the issue. If you master the accountability issue personally, the largely unconscious motivation to be identify and measure it in others tends to disappear.

As for the subject, he executes easily once he has your trivial bet.

This is entirely consistent with a need for some human attention, not a need to reach weight loss/ quitting smoking goals per se. This is especially true if you make it a habit to advertise your attitude about 'willpower' and it is well understood by the subject.

Re: Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment
 

not only are you being too hard on them for succeeding with extra monetary incentive, you are being too hard on them for talking about it in advance and then failing. Just the act of talking about it improves (though maybe only incrementally) their chances of success.

Re: Am I Being Too Hard On People With My Willpower Experiment
 

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Am I being too tough on them?

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No. I think you're actually spot on. People can stop making stupid gambles. They can stop smoking. They can stop overeating. They can exercise (unless injured).

They either don't have the incentive to do these things or they don't prioritize them.

I, for instance, smoke occasionally (a pack a month). I would like to not smoke at all. Or at least that's what I say right now. Then I go out drinking or get close to the money in a poker tournament or whatever and I really want to smoke. So I smoke and then wish I hadn't about 50% of the time. Why?? Simply because the compulsion to smoke outweighs whatever force that's telling me not to at the time. I am the kind of person who will give into the short term perceived pleasure of given activities despite potential long term consequences. That means I'm probably weaker than some.

People just use lack of time and addiction as excuses because they don't want to admit weakness. Just like the habitual losing gambler who gets screwed by the cards every single day...even if he wins.

But, david, this brings me back to a question I asked earlier that you didn't answer. Why are you fat (I actually don't know this, i just take your word.)? Why don't you shape up? By the way, I think "laziness" might be an excuse as well. You seem to know the benefits of weight control but don't exercise it. What gives?