Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfriend
 

My girlfriend keeps a blog on her Myspace page, and in her latest entry she wrote about how she feels about dating someone (me) that makes a living playing poker.

Here's the link to the blog if you want to read it (I told her I'd post it on here),

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...ogID=325324163


Anyone got any good stories/advice concerning supportive (or non-supportive) girlfriends/wifes?

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfriend
 

print that out and keep it so if you get married and she naggs you to stop you remind her [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfriend
 

Are you a swede that has moved to the US? Is Mary also a swede? I see some things on the myspace page in swedish. Is that because she is swedish or because I am swedish?

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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Are you a swede that has moved to the US? Is Mary also a swede? I see some things on the myspace page in swedish. Is that because she is swedish or because I am swedish?

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I grew up in Gothenburg, but moved to the US when I was 14 in 1996. Mary's not swedish, I met her here. Not sure why you're seeing things on Myspace that are in swedish, but I'm guessing it's because you're probably looking at it from Sweden, and Myspace detects that.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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I'm all in.

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no.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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I'm all in.

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no.

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Yeah not the best finishing line. Keep in mind though that she doesn't play, so pretty much like everyone else that knows a few poker phrases but don't actually play, she'll use them in corny and non-funny ways in the eyes of most 2+2'ers.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

Swede,

I've seen this movie before,

1. Starts off ranting on the net to a bunch of ppl (cry for help)

2. Naturally wants someone emotionally their for her, when shes available NOT when shes asleep.

3. Tired of it all, and u get the whole "its best to be friends for now" speech.

=)

gl!

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

good read op

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

Nice read...do her a favor and start re-heating dinner yourself from time to time.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

Being a career poker player in your 20's is -EV. You are giving up the best time in your life to learn a skill that will translate into guaranteed dollars in your 30's and 40's and beyond.

Your girlfriend may tolerate for awhile, but wait until (if) you get married, have kids and a mortgage. You will want that 401k and health insurance and days paid off. Having a job ain't that bad.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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Your girlfriend may tolerate for awhile, but wait until (if) you get married, have kids and a mortgage. You will want that 401k and health insurance and days paid off. Having a job ain't that bad.

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My current Gf is very serious and she is fine with it. My main source of income is sports betting not poker but same difference. I can see how someone would have some concerns about future security at first but once you have been doing it long enough they realize it is stable.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

You got a keeper dude, Props!

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

I don't think it is that difficult to get a girl to see the benefits. A lot of people find it counterintuitive but then you point to the fact that you have been doing it for X amount of years and then you point to your quality of life. She may not understand how or why but she'll understand that if it has worked for so many years there is no reason it shouldn't keep working.

Part of it though is that you actually have to have been successful. If you are living a student type life with 2 roommates and a beater for a car then you really can't convince anyone.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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My current Gf is very serious and she is fine with it. My main source of income is sports betting not poker but same difference. I can see how someone would have some concerns about future security at first but once you have been doing it long enough they realize it is stable.

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What is your definition of long enough? Las Vegas is littered with people who lasted 10 years and then washed away. And then you are in your 30's starting from scratch.

I personally think trying to be a professional poker player (or sports bettor) is an abysmal life choice for someone young since the fall back opportunity disappates. Better to build up some skills and then take a 'gamble' in a 'profession' as tenuous as bettor since if it doesn't work out, it will be easier (but not easy) to get back on the gainful employment train.

/end soapbox rant

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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Your girlfriend may tolerate for awhile, but wait until (if) you get married, have kids and a mortgage. You will want that 401k and health insurance and days paid off. Having a job ain't that bad.

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My current Gf is very serious and she is fine with it. My main source of income is sports betting not poker but same difference. I can see how someone would have some concerns about future security at first but once you have been doing it long enough they realize it is stable.

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sports betting? Does that work like in the movie casino? You seem like an interesting person since you seem to have seen alot of stuff and played for a long time. Now you amaze me again that you can actually make money from sports betting lol. Maybe do some sort of well somewhere sometimes?

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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What is your definition of long enough? Las Vegas is littered with people who lasted 10 years and then washed away. And then you are in your 30's starting from scratch.

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At least 8-10 years.

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I personally think trying to be a professional poker player (or sports bettor) is an abysmal life choice for someone young since the fall back opportunity disappates. Better to build up some skills and then take a 'gamble' in a 'profession' as tenuous as bettor since if it doesn't work out, it will be easier (but not easy) to get back on the gainful employment train

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I did get a bunch of university degrees including a law degree. I guess having a LLB does help since if I really needed to I could get a job if I had to.

I don't know how you can claim it is an abysmal life choice. At the end of law school my choice was between keep doing the sports betting or go work on Bay St for a fraction of the income. Working 70-90 hour weeks is abysmal.

Now 7 years out of law school when I compare my net worth to my law school friends I am so far ahead of them yet I have also had a lot more fun.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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sports betting? Does that work like in the movie casino? You seem like an interesting person since you seem to have seen alot of stuff and played for a long time. Now you amaze me again that you can actually make money from sports betting lol. Maybe do some sort of well somewhere sometimes?

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What is a well?

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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I did get a bunch of university degrees including a law degree. I guess having a LLB does help since if I really needed to I could get a job if I had to.

I don't know how you can claim it is an abysmal life choice. At the end of law school my choice was between keep doing the sports betting or go work on Bay St for a fraction of the income. Working 70-90 hour weeks is abysmal.

Now 7 years out of law school when I compare my net worth to my law school friends I am so far ahead of them yet I have also had a lot more fun.

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All it takes is one bad rush. Unless you are in the precious <.005% that will make a career out of it.

You also have a law degree and not some undergraduate degree in Political Science from the Univeristy of Arizona in 2001.

I wish you the best of luck. 99.99% are chasing fool's gold though.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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sports betting? Does that work like in the movie casino? You seem like an interesting person since you seem to have seen alot of stuff and played for a long time. Now you amaze me again that you can actually make money from sports betting lol. Maybe do some sort of well somewhere sometimes?

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What is a well?

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where you ask questions from everyon for a day. Its done in the small stakes section, where succesfull players answer all kinds of questions from the community.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

Can u give some details abwt yourself plz, like what games you play, site, when u went pro, how much you make per month/year? abit personal but its hard to relate to what she is saying not knowing how much money you make.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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Can u give some details abwt yourself plz, like what games you play, site, when u went pro, how much you make per month/year? abit personal but its hard to relate to what she is saying not knowing how much money you make.

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Wasn't sure I should respond to this. I feel the thread is going off course. So one response only. Then back to the original topic.

Most of my income is from sports betting not poker. Poker I usually play 10-20 or 20-40 limit except Tuesdays when I either play in a NL game or a 50-100 limit. Online I play 5-10 / 10-20 limit between Feb-Aug. The rest of the year I play 1-2 to 5-10 limit.

I started in the early 90s and got better every year. Not sure when I went pro. The amount of money involved was enough that I'd consider myself pro in 97. I graduated law school in 99 so when I turned down my articling position I was committed to this as a career. So definitely pro by 00.

How much is something I never answer. My usual answer is more than a paperboy and less than Bill Gates. I don't like to talk about specific numbers. I drive a Porsche, my rent is $2700/month, I own a condo paid for in cash on the Mediterranean. Based on that you should have some context.

Now back to the original topic. I didn't mean to derail this. The point of my original post was to simply say that as long as the GF / wife benefits from the poker playing she won't complain. I just bought by Gf a $1900 Prada coat and a $850 Burberry coat because she couldn't decide which she liked better. How can she then turn around and tell me to get a job?

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

I think girls that are worth the time wouldn't really mind what you do.. From the perspective of long-term, if you're a winning player, it has many advantages.. you're at home and have a flexible schedule, you're putting in less hours than a normal full-time job (unless you grind a ton or are a tourney player), financially it's more lucrative than most jobs coming out of College, you can save up enough in a short amount of time to invest for the future, etc..

Of course if you're a tourney player this could be different due to tournament schedules and time commitments

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

omg, dude, I don't want to sound like a complete [censored], maybe it's because I'm on a massive downswing which is eating away at my soul, but this sounds like some serious [censored] compensation. And that she has to put it on myspace is just asking for a night of drinks with her friends where they tell her that she needs to find someone who can spend more time with her. And she'll be like "no, no, no" and they'll be like "yes, yes, yes," and you're going to have to deal with a situation sooner than later.

Your gf sticking close to you, in substantial part, because she thinks you're hawt and because you are doing something of a maverick sort of nature, which is also kinduv hawt for her. She digs that. But just wait until she hits close to 30 and wants to get settled down and have her man around on a more regular basis. You may need to consider making poker PT and getting a FT job. Believe me - having an FT when you are on a massive cooler is kinduv nice. I hate it because I feel like I'm missing value bets / bluffs that could compensate for my cooler, and that is in part because I miss afternoon tourneys and can't keep as sharp as I want because of work, but there is always 2+2. Unless you win a big one, that is. Race to a major win before serious committment issues fall into place? lol

Barry

Barry

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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I just bought by Gf a $1900 Prada coat and a $850 Burberry coat because she couldn't decide which she liked better. How can she then turn around and tell me to get a job?

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Good job buying girlfriend off for $2,750! Cheap price to pay.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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I just bought by Gf a $1900 Prada coat and a $850 Burberry coat because she couldn't decide which she liked better. How can she then turn around and tell me to get a job?

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Good job buying girlfriend off for $2,750! Cheap price to pay.

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Let's not be ridiculous. It's ok to buy girlfriends/wifes gifts you know. I know my gf def appreciates it when I do, whether it's a $700 pair of shoes or a $10 dvd she really likes.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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And that she has to put it on myspace is just asking for a night of drinks with her friends where they tell her that she needs to find someone who can spend more time with her. And she'll be like "no, no, no" and they'll be like "yes, yes, yes," and you're going to have to deal with a situation sooner than later.

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Most of her friends seem completely ok with the fact that she's with me, so I'd be suprised if this were to happen. But then again I don't really know her friends all that well, so who knows.


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Your gf sticking close to you, in substantial part, because she thinks you're hawt and because you are doing something of a maverick sort of nature, which is also kinduv hawt for her. She digs that. But just wait until she hits close to 30 and wants to get settled down and have her man around on a more regular basis. You may need to consider making poker PT and getting a FT job. Believe me - having an FT when you are on a massive cooler is kinduv nice. I hate it because I feel like I'm missing value bets / bluffs that could compensate for my cooler, and that is in part because I miss afternoon tourneys and can't keep as sharp as I want because of work, but there is always 2+2. Unless you win a big one, that is. Race to a major win before serious committment issues fall into place? lol

Barry


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I'm just two years out of college, and poker is allowing me to do things I really like to do, such as travel with my gf and see friends and whatnot. It is also financially more lucrative then any job I could possible have at this point in my life. I'll invest most of the money I'm making and save it for use later on in my life. When it comes to having a job to rely on if/when I'm in the midst of a massive cooler, well I have enough money put away outside of my poker bankroll to last me awhile, so even if I were to go "poker busto" I'd have ample time to get a job or maybe even go back to school if I felt like it.

All that being said, I'm not planning on playing for a living the rest of my life. I'm going to keep investing my money, and probably withing a few years I'll get a job or start something myself (or maybe go back to school). I'm happy where I am in my life, with my relationship, with the money I'm making and the freedoms poker has given me, so while I'm always keeping my eyes open for new opportunities, for right now it's good.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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You will want that 401k and health insurance and days paid off.

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You pay for all of these things.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfriend
 

You hit a jackpot with the GF there i guess.

Try meeting girls IRL or onlíne. Tell them you play poker for a living, and most of these clueless girls will tell you:

It is not possible to earn money by playing poker, and you must have a gambling problem.
Pretty funny and sharp conclusion, when it comes from people who have zero knowledge about poker.

People like to judge alot more, than they are willing to understand.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfriend
 

Someone who plays poker needs to first establish that they have money before the topic of occupation comes up.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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I'm going to keep investing my money, and probably withing a few years I'll get a job or start something myself (or maybe go back to school).

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Money is inconsequential at this point in life. The return you will get on investing in your skill base will be much greater than the return on money.

Yes, you can get a job, but it is much more lucrative to have a career. Hopping on the career path at a later age is much more difficult than doing it when you are young.

If you were to plot your net present value of your lifetime earnings from a decent career it will in all likelihood be much greater than playing poker for 5 years (while saving money) and then getting a job.

There will of course be exceptions. And I am just talking about the safe path. Taking the road less travelled can be a blast too.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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You will want that 401k and health insurance and days paid off.

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You pay for all of these things.

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Indirectly yes. That is why if you take a salary of say $50k, it would be the equivalent of $65k or something, but employer is in essence 'charging' you for it.

Still, it isn't a bad thing since you get health care cheaper than you would get as individual and it heavily encourages savings which is a good thing in the long-term.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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You will want that 401k and health insurance and days paid off.

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You pay for all of these things.

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Indirectly yes. That is why if you take a salary of say $50k, it would be the equivalent of $65k or something, but employer is in essence 'charging' you for it.

Still, it isn't a bad thing since you get health care cheaper than you would get as individual and it heavily encourages savings which is a good thing in the long-term.

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You aren't going to be able to squish the people in here down into your narrow box of what a proper way of generating money is: getting a degree, working for $50k/y for a few years, and ending at hopefully $100k/y at 65.

People here have dreams and heart. They've found poker, a way in which their skills a rewarded directly, without passing most of the money generated to the owner of whatever company he is working for. People here have found a way out of that paradigm, of working for someone else, hoping for a 4% raise to get you up to $75k/year when you turn 25.

And yet you are trying to push them back down in. "99.9% of people go broke", etc. It's not going to happen. You can't show someone the light and then pretend it doesn't exist. The bottom line is that there are many many ways to make your own living, and in a more lucrative way, without having to fit in the work for someone else -> accept their orders -> take whats left of the profit you generated after the owner takes his cut, and gives the rest in the form of a paycheck.

If poker should die or become unprofitable for all but the 25/50+ players, which I doubt it ever will, people who don't want to be someone else's worker will find another way to make money independently. There are tons of ways outside of the conventional paradigm. And those used to being rewarded or punished based on their own actions financially will find them, and prosper.

As for the rest of what you say, everything else can be created through poker. You don't have to work for someone else to have a retired plan and nest egg, nor insurance. The government makes ways for the self-employed to get the usual benefits of retirement plans without a 3rd party holding your hand and saying you are allowed to.

You create a retirement account, with the usual benefits afforded by the govt in terms of interest and tax benefits. You take money that you make from poker, which is far in excess of what a normal job would provide, and put it in said account. There's your nest egg, your retirement fund. As for 'one bad rush', you don't understand bankroll management. A pro using conservative bankroll management has a much smaller chance of going broke than any career worker, who may get fired because of outside concerns, like downsizing, or the company going under.

The wife is now no longer worried. All is well.

The bottom line is that if you treat poker seriously and are good at it, you will make a serious amount of money and can use it in the same way you would if you were making it from a 'normal' career path. Except you have a lot more than you would if you were part of that career path.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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The bottom line is that if you treat poker seriously and are good at it, you will make a serious amount of money and can use it in the same way you would if you were making it from a 'normal' career path. Except you have a lot more than you would if you were part of that career path.

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You make some great points. Most people who are drawn to poker don't have the discipline to weather incredible swings. Look at all the stories of pros who have gone broke multiple times. Many of them win just to pay backers.

I went the 'traditional' route as did most of my friends. Everyone of them is well off by most any measure.

I know a few people who went the non-traditional route. One became a day trader and turned $5k into $500k. He then lost it all. He is now $70k in debt and can't fathom trying to take a 'traditional' job that pays 'only' $50k because he used to make/lose that in one week.

I don't have a problem with anyone becoming a poker pro. I am just piping in my own opinion that one should wait. Poker will always be there.

Good post. Take care.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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can't fathom trying to take a 'traditional' job that pays 'only' $50k because he used to make/lose that in one week.

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I know that sounds almost brat-like but I fully understand and agree with him. You can't go backward and ever be happy again.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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can't fathom trying to take a 'traditional' job that pays 'only' $50k because he used to make/lose that in one week.

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I know that sounds almost brat-like but I fully understand and agree with him. You can't go backward and ever be happy again.

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You don't see this as a good quality to have, do you?

I have this same way of thinking and I only made mid five figures last year. I'm a college student and working a typical college $10-15/hr a job would be torture for me. I know this is a bad thing though.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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You don't see this as a good quality to have, do you?

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I don't believe you can assign a normative assessment to this quality. It is just human nature.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

Seriously why is it that you cant work a 50k a year job that you kinda enjoy if you won or lost that in weeks? I cant really find any words because i suck with english language, but arent those guys turned into money hungry ho's? I mean life isnt all about the money? I dont see how you suddenly cant work a job you enjoy for 'only' 50k. Or is it the thrill of losing and winning it?

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

It is because you can't pay for all the things you use to have before.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

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Seriously why is it that you cant work a 50k a year job that you kinda enjoy if you won or lost that in weeks? I cant really find any words because i suck with english language, but arent those guys turned into money hungry ho's? I mean life isnt all about the money? I dont see how you suddenly cant work a job you enjoy for 'only' 50k. Or is it the thrill of losing and winning it?

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Because people want what money brings: freedom to buy things they want (for themselves and for others), financial security, etc.

Re: Dating a poker pro- From the perspective of a non-playing girlfrie
 

It isn't even that they want them, Lots of people convent luxury items. Growing up in a middle income household I always wanted nicer things than what my family could afford. Had I gone off and achieved a $75k/year income I would have been happy. But once you go and start experiencing the lifestyle possible from a much larger income you can't go back to living off $75K and still be happy.