Re: I Need Management Advice
 

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3. Send out an office-wide memo stating that there is poo-poo in my no-no.

[/ QUOTE ]

This should be the very first thing you do. No, wait, it should be the second - the first thing you should do is treat the entire office to bean burritos from Taco Bell. Anyone who doesn't eat at least six of them should be subjected to merciless razzing until they sack up.

Then take away all the toilet paper.

Re: I Need Management Advice
 

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Your job is to facilitate them in doing their job.

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Circulate a memo listing all known Facebook and MySpace sites of porn stars. This will facilitate job doing.

Be sure to double the pay of the janitorial staff.

Re: I Need Management Advice
 

Don't get caught up in actually "doing" stuff, your job now is to do nothing and get paid more than those who actually keep the company alive.

Oh, and everyone will hate you from this point forward, don't fight it.

Re: I Need Management Advice
 

Stay away from the Drama -

Re: I Need Management Advice
 

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Oh, and everyone will hate you from this point forward, don't fight it.

[/ QUOTE ]

qft

Re: I Need Management Advice
 

1. Collect underpants
2. ????
3. Profit

Re: I Need Management Advice
 

Use the phrase 'leverage our synergys" as much as possible in meetings.

Re: I Need Management Advice
 

Are you cool? Act like peoples' friend when they do what you want and dont be their friend when they dont.

Re: I Need Management Advice
 

Intentionally use malapropisms like "we need to centralize our watches" and "this is somewhat disconcerning." Fire anyone who corrects you.

Re: I Need Management Advice
 

Hold a sensitivity workshop, which consists of handing out the following in pamphlet form:


http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d2...1740621758.jpg