Two Plus Two Newer Archives - Guide to winning at Party Poker (tl;dr)

So I downloaded a file from BT and it came with a guide to winning at poker. I see many of you BBVers struggling which is especially evident in the monthly results threads, so I will share some of the quotes from that guide verbatim, hopefully it will improve your game. I do hope he is for real and cannot wait to try this out.

Unfortunately, I cannot share the whole guide as:
a) you cannot copy from that PDF document as it is protected,
b) I don't want to attach it as it includes links to Party Poker with the author's affiliate ID.

So here it goes, just a few choice quotes that I retyped given that I obviously have no life:
1) "Due to privacy I will not tell anyone how much I made on PartyPoker.com last year but I can tell you that my play money account is over 60 million dollars (note screenshot)! [note - screenshot is indeed included and shows 60 million play dollars]"

2) "AA KK QQ - whenever you get one of those 3 hands, two other players will indefinitely have a pocket pair as well a large percentage of the time. And you'll know by the way unless you are first to act because the betting will start getting really big pre-flop. This scenario happens very often. I would say that 40% of the time that 1 of the 2 smaller pocket pairs will flop a set.

This means your AA KK or QQ are liabilities in PARP [this is what he refers the rigged Party shuffling algorithm as]. Don't get me wrong I win with these "great" starting hands but it's only about 20% of the time.

Knowing this I will not call a raise, or place a bet more than $5 [he plays NL50 buying in for $25] preflop with AA, KK, or QQ!!!!! If I bet $2 and it goes to $10 I am usually going to lay that hand down (fold). I almost always check these hands. After the flop if I don't get a set I usually fold if there is a bet over $1."

3) He goes on to explain that if you are losing money then you can play QQ+ as PARP's fairness algorithm will ensure you win.

4) "It is your job and your responsibility to break the entire table."

5) On playing when your stack reaches $200: "You can't quit for an hour and come back, you must get hrough the crap PARP will throw at you."

6) "I think of it like a slot machine. It has payouts and payins. PARP is so blantant about it that you will hit 4 of a kind say 4 10's on 4th street only to lose to a straight or royal flush. Happens all the time!!!"

7) He suggests practicing PARP on play money tables. When you figure out PARP you can crush real money tables.

8) "The most common winning hand in PARP is a flush. It is disgusting so take advantage of it."

9) "Flop a straight and you only have a 50% chance of winning in PARP."

10) "When you get 4 of a kind (providing there is no straight or royal flush draw), this is PARP's way of saying we've decided to screw your opponent."

11) "The solution is to play more CRAPPY hand sand less GREAT hands as you win more."

12) "It's simple to practice this in real money. Force yourself to fold every hand for 2 hours straight. Watch what would have happened to you."

13) "Let's start with a brief win loss chart: W = Win L + Loss"

14) "Party poker pays off in cycles of 10. WLLLLLLLLLLWWLLLLLLLLW or WLLLLLLLLLW or WLLLLLLLLLLW." [this sort of stuff takes up a page more where he provides the winning patterns and describes when each of them kicks in].

15) "Don't screw yourself by going all in and losing and having to wait a hand before you can buy in again. I don't know if that's a flaw in PARP, but you need to see every starting hand you have to track your cycles."