Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

Just three days ago I moved back into my old flat. Well, I'd lived there for six months last year on a short-term let. Now the third flatmate's left for good so they invited me to come back. I'm sharing with a Frenchman in his early 30s, and a 36 year old Italian. I became good friends with the Italian, and found we got on better after leaving the flat. He is a compulsive note-leaver and quibbler. Along with a text message I got this classic passive-aggressive email this morning; I enclose my replies. So because he starts work at 9.30, he demands that the flat is silent between 11pm and, say, 8am? As he knows, as he knew when he asked me back to the flat, I work 2.30pm to 10.30pm so am likely to be up when he's asleep. I got up at 6am this morning to cycle to an all-night Internet cafe to play poker, since the wireless in the flat is down and the Frenchman who's in charge of it hasn't sorted it out. In doing so, I woke up the Italian. He seems to like to sleep with his door open (together with putting pans of tap water on top of every radiator since he says the air in the flat is too dry). So who's being unreasonable here?

C wrote:

Dear Jimm
I've already communicated yesterday to M the fact
that internet wasn't working and he called the company
that provide us the service.
After double checking again,yesterday evening I told
him again to call them back to make sure that it'll be
working again asap.
I'd like to remind you to please strive to be as
silent as possible in the evenings and at night as a
good night sleep is really important to me!
If you could please avoid to use the kettle and flush
the toilet at 6am in the morning I'd be happy.
I understand that especially working those late shifts
we have completely different schedules, and obviously
we have different needs, but again I'd be grateful if
you could be a bit more silent.
Have a nice day,
Regards!
C

______________________________

Jimm wrote:

Sorry for waking you up, but I didn't even realise you were in. At 11pm when I got back there was no sound from you, and your door wasn't closed, so I thought you were out.
But please let's not communicate by text, email or written note - I find it rude, and it ends up like this:
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/
Let's always talk in person - after all we live in the same flat.

______________________________

C wrote:

Excuse me, but most probably I won't see you this week
as I'm gonna go to bed early every night. From
tomorrow I start to work every day at 9.30.
Claudio

______________________________

Jimm wrote:

Okay, I understand - but why don't you close your door? If you need air, open a window a little. If you won't close your door, of course you'll be disturbed by anyone moving between 11pm-8am!
I always wake up around 6-7am (even when I start work late!) and need the bathroom. . There's not much I can do about that.
But, yes, I'll make sure not to use the kettle or bang around etc.

Re: Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

your roommates suck. don't use the toilet, wtf? next time just piss on his door.

Re: Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

he is gonna chop you up into little pieces, mix your blood with tomatoes and sell it as home made spaghetti sauce.

Re: Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

Although Claudio's request is pretty unreasonable (don't use the toilet? lol), I don't think his note is really that passive aggressive. It actually seemed pretty polite, imo.

Re: Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

I don't see what you can do. Flushing the toilet is kind of necessity. You basically need to ignore him and eventually find a new lace to live. The relationship won't improve.

Roommates suck. If you can afford a place on your own I would suggest that.

Re: Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

[ QUOTE ]
I don't see what you can do. Flushing the toilet is kind of necessity. You basically need to ignore him and eventually find a new lace to live. The relationship won't improve.

Roommates suck. If you can afford a place on your own I would suggest that.

[/ QUOTE ]


But I just moved in on Saturday!

Dang, I'd forgotten how he is great to have as a friend, but a pain to live with.

Oh well, beats living with my parents. I think.

Re: Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

maybe you should drop a stinky deuce and he can flush it in the morning

Re: Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

jimm, he doesnt sound passive-aggressive at all. he's pretty direct w/ his request unless there's some unspoken information to interpret. i thought he sounded rather nice in doing so and your initial response strikes me as passive-aggressive since you say "sorry" and the essentially tell him he needs to change and youre not going to do anything different.

other than the bathroom request, it sounds reasonable and a nice note. i wouldnt have a problem w/ it.

Re: Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

It's never too late to pass it off like you're illiterate and can't read his notes.

Re: Passive-aggressive notes from my flatmate
 

Buy him earplugs?