Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

I need to set this story up correctly, or else it probably won't make a ton of sense.

I was hanging out with my roommates (3 of us) and one mutual friend. We will call him 'Mike'.

'Mike' has a history of not handling his alcohol very well and easily blacking out. In the past during blackout mode he has (while sleeping) pissed on his girlfriend, one of my roommates clothes, as well as pissed on himself.

Two nights ago, the five of us were rocking out. (Yes, on a Tuesday) and drinking a bit. I go to sleep first, say my peace and head to bed. This leaves my 3 other roommates and 'Mike'. Soon after I go to sleep, 2 of my roommates also head to sleep, leaving one of my roommates up, drinking as well as making food with 'Mike'.

I wake up and head to school around 11:30. I stumble downstairs, and put on my shoes in the living room, all the while being basked in an unpleasant aroma that highly resembles [censored]. I look around, see 'Mike' sleeping on our couch, think to myself he must be busting ass, or had a ton of garlic the night before, and don't think too much more of it.

Around 1:30 pm, I get home from class, and the house still smells like poop. 'Mike' is gone, but in the living room I notice a huge log laid on our carpet.

Exhibit A
Exhibit B

And some more evidence that makes it appear that someone has stepped in the log, and tracked it around.

Exhibit C

I immediately go upstairs, find one of my roommates, and start bitching to him about how someone took a [censored] in our living room. I call my other two roommates, and one of them calls 'Mike' at work and asks him if he took a [censored] in our living room. 'Mike' was very upset that we would even think he took a dump in our living room.

A couple side notes, We have a back door, that we all believe was closed that night, but its possible it was open leaving just the screen door closed. The screen has been ripped a bit in the bottom corner, and if an animal is trying to, could push the screen in and come inside. So it is possible (although highly unlikely) that some animal, in the middle of the night pushed in our screen door, came inside, laid a giant turd, and then left back out the screen door.

So OOT, we come to you to solve our crime. If more information is needed to help you solve the crime, feel free to ask away and I will try to answer your questions.

My roommates and I have come up with a few plausible scenarios, which I will list in poll form.

Cliff notes: Giant turd laid in our living room after a night of drinking. Who did it?

Edit: Exhibit D showing scale.

Re: Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

Is this one of those lateral thinking puzzles? Like, is the correct answer going to be that somebody just forgot to put their poopsicle back in the freezer?

Re: Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

No, this is based on actual events and we need your help in determining what really happened.

Re: Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

Okay, I blame the lathe.

Re: Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

If anyone is wondering about scale, the black spot on the rug to the left, is a coal spot from when a hookah fell over.

If needed I still have the log in a bag and can take a picture next to some sort of recognizable object.

Re: Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

I've always liked Kipin, and I've never called for a ban, but...

...if posting pics of poop isn't an insta-ban, what is?

Re: Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I've always liked Kipin, but if posting pics of poop isn't an insta-ban, what is?

[/ QUOTE ]

The thread is labeled NSFW, I can make them non inline and just linked though.

Re: Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I've always liked Kipin, but if posting pics of poop isn't an insta-ban, what is?

[/ QUOTE ]

Racist.

Re: Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

More questions to help solve this puzzle:

- Actual size of evidence? Show some scale, perhaps hold it in your hand so we can judge the size.

- Where exactly in the room is this? Near the screen door? Dead middle of the floor?

- How much alcohol was involved?

- Does Mike have a history of doing outrageous things?

- Does Mike have a history of peeing on people's things / in rooms/ not in bathrooms (indoors in general?)

- Any motive?

I think drunk people are more likely to have it end up in their pants than in the middle of the floor. I also find it unlikely that an actual roommate would have done this, as people don't like to trash their own house.

Re: Calling all crime solvers (maybe NSFW pics?)
 

funny [censored]. but it's so mike... if your read is good. i mean he is a cronic drunk pisser so could totally drunk-dump (mike's new nickname?!?!?!)