hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspring really
 

loud right under my apartment at 4 AM ?

(cliffs notes NT is drunk and he hates this fat little chud who lives underneath him and is going to [censored] his ass and make him humble like they do in the old country)

so i got home from the bar and my girlfriend is awake and looking kinda cranky, apparently some dude who lives below us has been playing his music really loud all night. this is not unusual for him but tonight it is really loud. we can hear not just bass lines but words and [censored]. he listens to crappy 90's white people music like bad offspring (not that there is good offspring, but there is bad and only kinda bad), other allegedly punk bands often featured in video games, etc.

so i have never met this guy before tonight. i start by going down and ringing the bell. obviously i am pretty drunk but whatever, the [censored] is really loud. so i progress from ringing to knocking, from knocking to pounding, and from pounding to kicking the [censored] out of his door as hard as i can. finally the music turns off so i am like, good, [censored] and i go back upstairs.

then like three minutes later it comes back on just as loud as before, maybe he just turned it off to rub one out or something who knows. so i go back downstairs and proceed directly to the pounding-the-ever-loving-[censored] out of his door and he finally comes to the door, the little [censored] coward.

i'm like, dude i am not trying to be a dick about this but your music is really pretty loud, i was knocking on your door for a long time.

he's like, o sorry didn't hear you.

i'm like, yeah, like i said i am not trying to be a hardass but my girlfriend can't fall asleep, i can hear your [censored] really loud, like sometimes i turn on my tv and i can still hear the lyrics on your stereo over the simpsons and [censored]. and your stereo is like right under our bedroom.

he's like, well i can hear it whenever you guys walk around, or your cats start running around or something, so it's not exactly quiet for me either, and i never complain.

and i'm like, dude, we can't exactly control the building noise, i mean we try not to be loud but if the floors creak what can we do? it's a little different.

and he just gives me this blank [censored] stare. he looks like brandt but fatter and shorter and more miserable, he is wearing boxer shorts and a white t-shirt and glasses, obviously i interrupted his pwning of noobs in IRC or something, maybe his internet girlfriend was about to IM him some pictures of her exposed navel with bbg sauce in it who the [censored] knows. all i know is i want to strangle this little [censored] right where he stands like a dumb [censored] online MORP addict statue rooted to his floor. i am sure he is sitting in his apartment right now fantasizing about rolling a couple of twelve sided dice and killing me with his hit point multipliers or some ridiculous gay [censored] involving elves and wizards and orcs and all kinds of cockjousting fat lonely [censored] [censored].

and i repeat to him, dude anyway if you could just turn it down a little i would appreciate it ok?

and he's like, 'ok THANKS' and i turn around and walk away before the urge strangle him with his own entrails overcomes me.

on monday i am going down to my landlord and telling him in no uncertain terms that the guy was playing nazi battle hymns and looking at kiddie porn

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

kick his ass, seabass!

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspring really
 

I would have pretended to be nice, as if I was interested in the music he was playing.... Get shown in the door, still pretending that I think the guy is awesome, while chatting all the time about my half elf thief/cleric with a ring of invisible ..... make my way over to the stereo, pick the fecker up and throw it out the window.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

dude there are bars on our windows here, no dice

maybe i could just pick it up and throw it against the wall though

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

Throw it really hard against the bars and then say, "Oh sorry, I thought it was open."

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

lol i am drunk but that is gold

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
obviously i interrupted his pwning of noobs in IRC or something, maybe his internet girlfriend was about to IM him some pictures of her exposed navel with bbg sauce in it who the [censored] knows. all i know is i want to strangle this little [censored] right where he stands like a dumb [censored] online MORP addict statue rooted to his floor. i am sure he is sitting in his apartment right now fantasizing about rolling a couple of twelve sided dice and killing me with his hit point multipliers or some ridiculous gay [censored] involving elves and wizards and orcs and all kinds of cockjousting fat lonely [censored] [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

A+++ [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

Is the chick in your avatar sucking on a dong or am I just higher than usual?

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

I think it's time for you to buy a pogo-stick. Here's a nice one:

http://www.sz-wholesale.com/uploadFi...115220013s.jpg

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
Is the chick in your avatar sucking on a dong or am I just higher than usual?

[/ QUOTE ]

what else would she be doing?

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

i think i understand why he was so pissy. he can probably hear it every time i am laying pipe up here, like really loud. and since he has probably never left his apartment in the year and a half i have been here (i am sure of this because i have never [censored] see nhim in my life) it is probably just a reminder every time he hears it that he is a fat disgusting moron who couldn't get laid in supermax prison if you taped pictures of porn stars to the back of his head

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

I enjoyed listing to my lesbo neighbors fight to the death every night when I lived in little jamaica poughkeepsie. The cops knocking on my door half the time was a little annoying though.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
I think it's time for you to buy a pogo-stick. Here's a nice one:

http://www.sz-wholesale.com/uploadFi...115220013s.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

This will be a highly underrated post.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

I feel your pain NT! and I'm also drunk so I hope this makes sense...

I live on the 3rd floor and we have a balcony. The second floor has the same type balcony but the first floor has a huge patio that extends past the 2nd and 3rd floor balcony. A couple weeks ago, I was sitting in my room pwnin n00bs on IRC when I heard someone throwing up. I go outside to my balcony to make sure it's not my roomie, because I know if we throw up over the balcony, it's going on the first floor patio. It's not us, it's the potheads on the second floor. So I'm like cool... we can't get blamed for this [censored].

The next morning, I meet the dude on the first floor pounding on my door at like 6am. He's understandable pissed cause someone puked on his patio. I tell him how I was up and made sure it was no one from my place. As I'm telling him the story of events from the night, I start to realize that telling the truth sounds like a load of donkey crap. While I'm telling this story of ture events, it sounds like I'm pulling it out of my ass.

Of course, 2nd floor denies this event ever happening. I get a letter from the 1st floor dude and our building management both saying serious actions will happen if this [censored] ever happens again. I've never met the people on the 2nd floor but I still want to make them humble for screwing me over and having the people on the first floor hate us.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspring really
 

[ QUOTE ]
cockjousting

[/ QUOTE ]

Do not circumvent the profanity filter. This includes posting images that contain censored words, intentionally misspelling censored words, or conglomerating censored words to bypass the censor.

ban

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspring really
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
cockjousting

[/ QUOTE ]

Do not circumvent the profanity filter. This includes posting images that contain censored words, intentionally misspelling censored words, or conglomerating censored words to bypass the censor.

ban

[/ QUOTE ]

NT is probably going to wake up cranky with a nasty hangover. You gotta learn to pick your spots better.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

Awesome. Just awesome. You should never be sober.
Shaving creme the door in about 3 weeks, and break a key in the lock. It works.

If it's any consolation I'm in Harlem and pretty much every night get the

"Sheeat beactch who you playin' I hit that up" followed by 50/50 cop or ambulance sirens outside my window.

Thankfully most my building mates are crack dealers and keep to themselves.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

Great rant. [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]NT

Kind of crazy that I see this post this morning b/c I had a similar situation last night except it was a vacuum cleaner and it was the neighbor next door. Long story short, at my fiancee's apt, her neighbor is vacuuming at [censored] 2 in the morning and I am trying to sleep but can hear it through the walls-so can she. These apt's aren't big but somehow she manages to vacuum for about 30 minutes. For about 5 of those 30 minutes I was banging on our wall, didn't work so I went over to her apt. I banged on her door, she comes out and I haven't ever met her and she is very creepy, suicide creepy. I tell her to please stop, she says she doesn't have to and I tell her common courtesy is to vacuum her place at a decent hour when people aren't trying to sleep (plus she doesn't have a job so she has all day to do this). She says she was done anyway end of interaction.

I was going to post a rant too but am glad I didn't, wouldn't have been as good.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

A couple months ago my up-til-then silent neighbours had a night of playing really [censored] "classic" music at 4-9am, basically it sounded like a crappy club with all those old 90s and 80s standbys blasting. The last song they played was "Only love will set you free" to give you an idea of the scale of the problem.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

Classic rant!

More please.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

It's OK man cause I like the abuse.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

Hahaha that was a good read [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

A year ago, I was at a party in suburban DC. So it's at a house, with a lawn, all that good stuff. At around 1:30 am, a bunch of people decided to start having wrestling matches in the front lawn. 30-40 of us were watching and cheering. And around match number 3, the two hottest chicks at the party started wrestling.

This is, of course, when the neighbor decides to show up to complain about the noise. He started talking to the host a few feet away from me, commenting "I have a 3 year old, you know." To which point I conversationally remarked to somebody else "Yeah, but we have hot chicks wrestling." The neighbor stared at me for a few seconds, and then went back to yelling at the host. Unfortunately, the forces of quiet prevailed before any clothes came off.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

blogs are fun

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

Any OP that includes the word 'chud' is A+ in my book.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

sorry about the profanity guys i was a little drunk. thought it would get caught in the filter.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
blogs are fun

[/ QUOTE ]


consider this more like an instruction manual since someone will undoubtedly make a post asking how to handle the same situation at least five times this week

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
and he just gives me this blank [censored] stare. he looks like brandt but fatter and shorter and more miserable, he is wearing boxer shorts and a white t-shirt and glasses, obviously i interrupted his pwning of noobs in IRC or something

[/ QUOTE ]


[img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]


Good story but I'm kinda wondering why you didn't take out your aggression by pwning some noobs from the forum.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

well i just woke up with a wicked headache and banned about 8 people in the last five minutes if that's what you mean

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

I love it when nerds look down on other nerdier nerds!

(I do this myself!)

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

i won't deny that i spend a fair bit of time on 2p2 but i doubt anyone who has met me would describe me as a nerd

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

I'm pretty much a closet nerd unless another closet nerd starts talking about something nerdy and then I will let my nerdom shine through.

Its not like when I go out to a bar I start telling people about the newest bbv4l mspaint contest.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
he looks like brandt but fatter and shorter and more miserable

[/ QUOTE ]

That's marvelous.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
Of course, 2nd floor denies this event ever happening. I get a letter from the 1st floor dude and our building management both saying serious actions will happen if this [censored] ever happens again.

[/ QUOTE ]

Next time take a picture...

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm pretty much a closet nerd unless another closet nerd starts talking about something nerdy and then I will let my nerdom shine through.

[/ QUOTE ]This is pretty much every 2+2er I've met.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

didz is fat

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

i wish i was a 2p2 mod so i could start [censored] threads and not have them deleted

dids is still fat. always will be fat.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
didz is fat

[/ QUOTE ]
yo

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

[ QUOTE ]
i wish i was a 2p2 mod so i could start [censored] threads and not have them deleted

dids is still fat. always will be fat.

[/ QUOTE ]

Being fat is a frame of mind, not a physical trait.

Re: hyachachach which one of you is the fat [censored] playing offspri
 

update: guy does it again tonight. this time it's a weeknight so i go down there and i'm already pretty mad. he starts yelling at me about how i need to carpet my apartment. i say look man, carpeting isn't going to do much good if you've got the stereo turned up so loud you can't hear me banging on the door with both fists. it degenerates from there and i end up standing in the hall screaming obscenities at this guy at the top of my lungs for about five minutes straight.

i go back up and get ready to call the cops.

girlfriend goes downstairs, puts on the puppy face, says please, i am a teacher, i have to work in a few hours, etc etc. he softens right up and we make nice and he promises to turn it down and says just call him if there's ever a problem.

hey whatever it takes i guess.