I killed 2 animals today
 

On my drive home from school. I ran over a crazy squirrel who was lookin to commit suicide. Then on my drive on the highway, a bird crashed into my car, the bird flew off to the side and layed on the side of the road. My car is officially an animal killer

anyone ever hit any animals?

Re: I killed 2 animals today
 

My ex hit a deer lightly in the butt while I was in the passenger seat. It was late at night, and she'd braked hard, but the deer froze and turned 180 degrees in place before running, so he got a little love tap that dented my car. Then he jumped over a fence and into our hearts.

Re: I killed 2 animals today
 

I ran over a chipmunk a couple days ago.

Re: I killed 2 animals today
 

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I ran over a chipmunk a couple days ago.

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Man, I bet you didn't even feel a bump.

Re: I killed 2 animals today
 

I owned a wooodchuck once doing eighty miles an hour in the middle of the night. It really was an impressive whump sound. Even though it was a deserted highway through a state forest at 2 am I couldn't swear I didn't cream a toddler or something, so I had to go back and look.

Re: I killed 2 animals today
 

Ran over a cat once, it was kinda sickening. You just see it happening and can't stop it, then you feel the bump. Drove in silence the rest of the way.

Re: I killed 2 animals today
 

One afternoon, I'm lost out in the country. I'm looking down at a map to try and figure out where the hell I am. I look up a few seconds too late, as a mother duck and a bunch of ducklings are crossing the street in single-file fashion.

I didn't feel any bumps... but I didn't look back. I don't think I could have handled it.

Re: I killed 2 animals today
 

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I ran over a chipmunk a couple days ago.

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Man, I bet you didn't even feel a bump.

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I tried like hell to avoid him, he wasn't having it. All I saw was a little red splat in the rearview.

Re: I killed 2 animals today
 

A few years back, I was looking for a cheap pickup. On the side of the road, I found a '93 Toyota light pickup that was on sale for $3000. It had 31k miles on it, but the body was dented to [censored] on both sides.

The old, tobacco stained farmer said that it was the only brand-new car he'd ever had. He was very proud of it when he bought it so he drove it out to California and back to show his family. On the way there, he hit a deer in the CO Rockies that crumpled the left side. And on the way back, he clipped another deer that mangled the other side.

He said he figured God didn't want him to have nice stuff. 70k miles later, I still have that ugly ol' thing.

Re: I killed 2 animals today
 

[ QUOTE ]
My ex hit a deer lightly in the butt while I was in the passenger seat. It was late at night, and she'd braked hard, but the deer froze and turned 180 degrees in place before running, so he got a little love tap that dented my car. Then he jumped over a fence and into our hearts.

[/ QUOTE ]

This line is really funny to me. Not sure why.