Two Plus Two Newer Archives - You guys are owned

As a public service I am offering these interpretations of some words, ideas, and abbreviations encountered on the 2+2 forums. For now let's concentrate on the BBV forum:

Beat - this means you lost. Posting the story in the Beats, Brags, and Variance forum is like telling a bad beat story. The denizens of BBV will take delight in your misfortune and rag you.

Brag - this means you won. The denizens of BBV will not believe you unless you provide some kind of evidence, like a PokerTracter screen shot or a pic of the luscious babe hanging all over you. (Yes, they know you can fake that, but they'll give you a pass because you put in some effort.)

Variance - This means that's the way the cookie crumbles (on occasion). BBVers will decide whether it's your fault or not--and if it looks like a beat, it's a trend, and if it looks like a brag, it's definitely variance.

tl;dr - this means "too long; didn't read" and is the reaction of the sort of BBVer who has yet to take the remedial reading class at his local community college because he's working 40 hours a week at the Burger King.

donkament - usually expressed as "lol donkaments." This means what you posted was dumb and now you've documented your stupidity for all the 2+2ers to see and laugh at. It is best to post these on the BBV forum because the hyenas there will laugh loudest. ("donk(ey)" + a + (docu)ment)

online poker is rigged - (see "Beat")

donkeys, fish - players who draw out on BBVers.

nh, sir - this means you won the pot with your bottom pair, no kicker/two outer, but the BBVer who dropped half a dozen big bets with aces and kings isn't worried since it's obvious that you are an idiot that he will beat in the long run. ("nice hand, sir") The "sir" is to emphasize your senility compared to his prime time mind. It's the way clerks pretending to be boy scouts address customers, i.e, fish.

ban - this reaction means that what you wrote is (1) stupid (2) obviously wrong (3) not funny, or funny in an unintentional way (3) heard many, many times before (4) asked and answered many, many times before (5) offensive (6) spam (7) similar in some way to saying "online poker is rigged."

owned; pwned - being at a disadvantage. Stronger than "dominated." The idea is that the disadvantage is so great that you are like the property of those with the advantage. Works as a brag/insult, and works best when the person at a disadvantage seems to think the beat was just bad luck or variance.

gehy, ghey, gay - this means wrong, stupid or offensive. Used because there is nothing scarier to a typical young male BBVer than the thought that somebody might think he flaps for anything other than babes with bodacious hooters. (Older BBVers are...different.)

flaps - what BBVers do for sex, cf., "strangle the goose."