Re: Do all guys go through the \"chase is more fun\" stage?
 

Do you realize you are trying to determine what your preferences should be by asking other people about their preferences. And, no insult intended, but it is going to be a skewed sample. You might have better luck asking people for suggestions on how you can figure out what you want. Personally I think past behavior is the best indication of your underlying desires.

Re: Do all guys go through the \"chase is more fun\" stage?
 

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I have a pretty serious girlfriend now and even though I can probably do better, I'm putting some serious thought into just settling in with her out of convenience.

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eww.


FWIW I am 23 and have lived with my girlfriend for two years, since graduating college. I'm not sure whether its her or my maturity, likely a combo of the two, but I really don't feel that great desire to play the field. I mean I do, and I would love to go out and prove that I still got it, and even mix it up for sex, etc. but this thought is now a blip on the screen instead of an all-consuming thing.

Previously, I'd go through the typical wanting a girlfriend until I had one and then craving freedom. Whenever I was with a girl, it was like "ok, i got her....now what?" The thrill of the catch was over, she was in love with me, and I was over it.

Now though, I just realize how lucky I am that I get to spend every night and wake up every morning with a girl who, for me, is a million times better than every other girl. Living together is a HUGE step, because the time you spend together makes one year together the equivalent of like 5 years living apart.

This past weekend I went to visit my friend in NYC, and we went out to some bars. Obviously I was scoping around out of habit, picking out which girl I'd approach if I was single, estimating my odds, etc. I never had any real urge to do it though, because I'm happy where I'm at.

I know I'm just blabbering on, but whatever.

[awful poker analogy] For me, this is like a variation on that thread that gets started once a month. "Would you give up poker for a million dollars?" Basically, how much do you value actually playing the game.

The difference for me is that it seems like the choice between a million dollars or playing a tournament where the top prize is 500k. If I choose to play, not only am I giving up on the sure thing for the thrill of the game, I also know that I could never find anyone so perfect for me. [/awful poker analogy]

Re: Do all guys go through the \"chase is more fun\" stage?
 

The grass is always greener.

Re: Do all guys go through the \"chase is more fun\" stage?
 

Im pretty convinced that none of us, no matter who you are, are nowhere near worldly/mature enough to decide whether you want to get married in your 20s. Im not worried about it in the least, and Jur I have thought about it too, added to teh fact that of all my friends, the ones who are 22-30 are the ones who bitch about their long time gf/wife, and none of those guys were ever really excited on their wedding day, but my friends who were older (35ish) when they got married were all pumped, and talk about how much they love/how good of a girl their wife is.

Re: Do all guys go through the \"chase is more fun\" stage?
 

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I have a pretty serious girlfriend now and even though I can probably do better, I'm putting some serious thought into just settling in with her out of convenience.

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This is [censored] absurd. What's the over/under on how long until he cheats?

Post deleted by Mat Sklansky
 

Re: Do all guys go through the \"chase is more fun\" stage?
 

what do you mean by "you can do better"?

Re: Do all guys go through the \"chase is more fun\" stage?
 

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I have a pretty serious girlfriend now and even though I can probably do better, I'm putting some serious thought into just settling in with her out of convenience.

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This is [censored] absurd. What's the over/under on how long until he cheats?

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fwiw my rationale is a common one. its probably also a common reason for divorce and cheating, but its common...and my point was that i am now beginning to see where those people are coming from.

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Its a common one because most people are completely morons when it comes to relationships, becuase most peoples self-esteem is so [censored] that they are willing to settle just so they arent the only ones that arent able to tell people they are with someone. Its sad really.

Post deleted by Mat Sklansky
 

Re: Do all guys go through the \"chase is more fun\" stage?
 

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what do you mean by "you can do better"?

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its complicated obv but just that i could find somebody who i match better with, that i'd be happier with long term, that would make a better partner etc

guids,

i think thats more commonly a female perspective on it. for me its just not wanting to go through the bs of dating anymore. i've had plenty of awesome experiences with the opposite sex, its not about the hunt for me anymore. i just want to focus on business and other non-sexual pursuits and have that part of it all taken care of.

sorry for hi-jack, though i guess somebody had to represent the alternative viewpoint to what everybody else is saying in this thread.

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The reason I have purposely pushed girls aside that I had great relationships with was for the specific reason of focusing on business and other outside pursuits. If you think that being married is conducive to making money youre nuts.