My friend Scott
 

I received a call at 2pm Tuesday from my friend Craig. Generally I don’t answer my cell phone at work, but it was a slow day. I answer the phone and hear Craig’s voice weaving in and out. “John I don’t know how to say this, but this morning the police found Scott’s body in the parking lot of a school. It appears to be self inflicted.” I get up, my body shaking and walk outside still on the phone. I don’t know what to say, Craig is sobbing, not saying anything, nor I. My stomach feels like someone punched it, hard.

I stay outside for another half an hour. Calling a few friends, my Mom. But I know I can’t stay at work. I walk into my boss’s office, trembling and tell her I need to leave, my friends dead. The car ride back to my apartment was blurry. My eyes welled up and I was shaking the entire time.

I get home and my brother says “what are you doing here.” My only reply “Scott was found dead this morning.”

Needless to say, [censored] day.

I have spent the past 2 days doing whatever I can trying to keep my mind off of what happened. I am the type of person who over analyzes and worries about things to no end. I knew this would consume me if I didn’t occupy my time. I spent some time reading, watching TV, working on some projects, playing racquetball, even posting a few times on a message boards. If I don’t do something, I think back to the last time I saw him. Did anything stand out? Why would he do this? He seemed happy. Then I also put myself in the place right before it happened. Imagining what was going through his mind, what caused all this pain, to make him do this. Then I can’t help think about the actual event and it horrifies me.


I have been trying to figure out why this could have happened.

I think about all the good times we had. The time he hit a homerun on my [censored] company softball team. Going to all those M’s games. The one time I beat him at bowling. Golfing out at Ocean Shores. Building a beermid 5 feet high. Playing poker hundreds of times. Watching Family Guy DVD’s. Going to bars and having a great time. Scott was one of the best people to hang out with. Always laughing and telling jokes. Scott and I had been friends for almost 10 years, and I had so many great memories of those years.

I really don’t know what to feel. This has never happened to someone I know. But my emotions the past two days have ranged from shock, sadness, confusion, anger, and grief.

Why people do this I will never understand.

Scott and I were friends, and now he’s dead, and that [censored] sucks.


For those of you wondering why I posted this here, Scott was a member of this community, amongst many communities, and I thought those of you who had met him, and knew how great a guy he was, would like to know.

He'll be dearly missed.

Re: My friend Scott
 

Sorry, man. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] That's awful

Re: My friend Scott
 

Ugg that sucks. I'm sorry John. What was Scotts name here? I know one I think you hung out with. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: My friend Scott
 

My condolences.


My best friends from grade school commited suicide, the only advice I can give is the cliched, time is the only thing that will heal the feelings you are having now, and even though it never fully will, it does get easier. Trying to quit analyzing the situation is fruitless, you just have to do what you can to get by imo, and let any emotions you have do what they will.

Re: My friend Scott
 

this is terrible, sorry to hear it TSC.

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
Sorry, man. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] That's awful

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: My friend Scott
 

One of my sister's friends killed himself recently (oddly, he was also found at a school). Really popular guy, always seemed happy. Apparently he had called a bunch of people shortly before he did it but no one answered (it was at like 2 in the morning or something). I can't even imagine how they felt after they heard what happened and saw his missed calls. Sucks, sorry to hear it.

Re: My friend Scott
 

Kerssens

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
Kerssens

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored]. That's the first person I thought of. So sorry TSC.

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Kerssens

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored]. That's the first person I thought of. So sorry TSC.

[/ QUOTE ]

Same here. Thats awful, he was one of my favorite people from back in the day. Condolences buddy.

Re: My friend Scott
 

Sorry man///

Re: My friend Scott
 

wow. this is so unbelievably sad.

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Kerssens

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored]. That's the first person I thought of. So sorry TSC.

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]kerssens[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

so sorry man

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
this is terrible, sorry to hear it TSC.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: My friend Scott
 

I'm so sorry for you. I understand the pain of suddenly losing a best friend, and if you need a friend, i am a weird nite owl and on this thing too much..but what i am saying is, if you want to IM or w/e, i'm here for you. Anytime. Again, my deepest sympathies.

-ala

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
so sorry man

[/ QUOTE ]

Without getting into detail, I have experienced a somewhat similar situation. Believe me, though: it's a good thing you can't understand what he was feeling

Re: My friend Scott
 

TSC is better suited to speak about him, and I hope in time he does. But for those of our newer members, Kerssens was a perfect example of why this forum rocked a few years ago. He was just a good guy, you could tell by his posts and the way he interacted. Just one of those people you would definitely grab a beer with. You can probably do a search and find a bunch of us asking where he had been from time to time...because he stuck out, not as some crazy OOT personality, just as a solid dude who made this place better when he was around.

RIP Scott

Re: My friend Scott
 

Man that is terrible - very sorry to hear this.

Re: My friend Scott
 

[censored] cracka this sucks [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]. I really enjoyed meeting him at the 'seed a few years ago. Kerssens was definitely a nice guy and a great 2p2er.

Re: My friend Scott
 

Damn I almost cried reading that [censored], sorry man.....

Re: My friend Scott
 

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
Man that is terrible - very sorry to hear this.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: My friend Scott
 

i'm very sorry, TSC.

Matty's comments are so true, he was definitely one of the guys that made OOT great back when he posted. He had always been one of my favorite posters.

this is just incredibly sad. again, my condolences.

Re: My friend Scott
 

I remember him. I'm sorry Salt. Hope you can stay strong.

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
TSC is better suited to speak about him, and I hope in time he does. But for those of our newer members, Kerssens was a perfect example of why this forum rocked a few years ago. He was just a good guy, you could tell by his posts and the way he interacted. Just one of those people you would definitely grab a beer with. You can probably do a search and find a bunch of us asking where he had been from time to time...because he stuck out, not as some crazy OOT personality, just as a solid dude who made this place better when he was around.

RIP Scott

[/ QUOTE ]

QFT

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] Kerssens

Re: My friend Scott
 

[censored]

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
I remember him. I'm sorry Salt. Hope you can stay strong.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Man that is terrible - very sorry to hear this.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: My friend Scott
 

[img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] very sorry to hear

Re: My friend Scott
 

All the comments have left me feeling very sad. Scott made an impression on most people. Most people liked him, and if they didn't, quite frankly those weren't people I wanted to be around. Scott wasn't a polarizing guy, he was a chill guy. It hurts to see that people miss him. It truly hurts me.

From what I have learned, it appears this was something that he had thought about for a few months. That troubles me as well. I had spoken with and seen him several times since June and I never had this impression. Why couldn't he have let me or his other friends know. I am full of regret that I didn't do anything, but I think thats in vain. In truth, there probably isn't anything I could have done.

Matt, you are absolutely right, Scott was a great guy to be around.

Re: My friend Scott
 

Sorry to hear. Hope you're doing alright.

Re: My friend Scott
 

Wow that sucks. Kerssens ruled. Sorry for your pain TSC.

Re: My friend Scott
 

Kerssens

Re: My friend Scott
 

oh no man.....

sorry dude

i still remember that pic of the guy in the yankees jersey. i still remember his quagmire avatar.

Re: My friend Scott
 

[ QUOTE ]
Kerssens

[/ QUOTE ]
Ugh, sorry dude. He was mostly before my time but this stuff is always sad and going briefly back through his history this seems so unfortunate...please don't take it personally or wonder "what if" though, that will accomplish nothing positive.

Re: My friend Scott
 

RIP

Re: My friend Scott
 

Wow, Kerssens?

Sigh.

Sorry to hear that, TSC. First through fifth rounds are on me if you make it up to Seattle via Portland.

Re: My friend Scott *DELETED*
 

Post deleted by NT!

Re: My friend Scott
 

thanks again for the words guys, it helps out a lot.

Re: My friend Scott
 

Sorry man, I would hate to think what ti would be like to lose a best friend.