Two Plus Two Newer Archives - So I had a date today

OK, so there’s this girl who works in my office that I’ve been flirting with for the past several weeks whenever I’ve had the chance. I’m my usual charming self around her (read: socially awkward/inept) but for some reason she seems to be into that so I decide to run with it. Now my job is fairly mundane and this girl has been one of the few bright spots, so chatting/hanging out with her has been a fairly regular part of my work day for around a month now.

So in the middle of one of our standard mid morning chats I finally work up the courage to ask her out; she seems slightly surprised at first but eventually recovers and says “yeah I’d love that.”

Maybe this was a fumble on my part, but what I end up deciding we'll do is go to the office picnic together (our office hosts a picnic for its employees and their families twice a year, sort of a get to know your co-workers kind of thing). For some reason I thought it’d be more relaxed than a typical first date, but the down side is not as much alone time and maybe it doesn’t have quite the romantic feel I should be going for?

Day of the picnic arrives and I get over to her apartment complex to pick her up, knock on door, and some random guy opens it. I’m thinking wtf who is this guy, this can’t be her boyfriend, she does know this is a date, right? Well of course I keep my composure as the guy says to me “Oh hey you must be John, Cathy’ll be ready any minute, she just got outta the shower.” So I sit and make small talk with this Ron guy for a few minutes, never quite building up the confidence to ask him what the [censored] he's doing here. Eventually Cathy is ready and we leave.

In the car the following conversation takes place:

Me: So, Ron seems like a nice guy.
Her: Yeah he is. He’s the best.
Me: You two roommates?
Her: No, not really.
Me: Oh.

So that was the end of that. I didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot by giving her the Spanish Inquisition about her "friend", but I did spend the next twenty minutes puzzling over whether or not she had ever mentioned a Ron or a boyfriend to me in any of our chats; I decided that in fact she had not.

Finally we get to the picnic, it’s at a big park. There's a bbq set up under a tent, and a lot of tables and things. Most of our co-workers are already there; some are eating and relaxing under the tent, the younger guys are playing touch football on the grass, and some of the families are over by the playground watching their kids play. Right away we get suckered into some team building exercise the boss has set up where we have to pick a partner and find out three things about them (I obv. pick Cathy). The exercise is lame, but I think I make her laugh a few times with some bad jokes and generally feel like I’m being very charming.

Not much happens for the next hour and a half or so, we sort of get separated but finally I find her sitting near a tree; it’s fairly sunny out and she’s starting at the clouds. She seems happy I came over and we start to talk about some random stuff, cutlery or something, her dad is a chef. Anyway we get to a moment where I’m obviously supposed to kiss her so I lean in. It goes well for about one tenth of one second until I feel her start to pull away; she follows this with a “no no, I can’t kiss you, it will ruin our friendship.” She mentions something about a boyfriend who recently moved away then sort of goes back to looking at the clouds as if nothing has happened. She starts to name animals that the clouds resemble, asking if I see it too. I sort of nod yes but I don’t really see any of it.

Eventually I drive her back to her place. The car ride is mostly silent. I turn on the radio to hopefully avoid small talk, but she doesn’t seem interested in talking either so it's fine. She starts to get out of the car, stops mid way, and sort of touches my shoulder as she says “please please don’t hate me, I hope we can still be friends.” I gave her a polite nod and said “yeah of course. have a good weekend” before making my retreat.

I don’t especially care to see this girl on Monday, but there doesn’t seem to be any way around that. I suppose I could quit, but leaving the highest salaried job I’ve had since college just to avoid months or maybe years of awkward conversation seems a bit much. I'll probably just ignore her for the time being. I don't get why every girl I even attempt to like immediately puts me in the friend zone. Didn't she realize I was asking her out on a date? Why does she feel I'm so unqualified as boyfriend material while well suited for the friend role? And who the [censored] is Ron?

Anyway I don’t really know how to end this, so I guess that’ll be it…