Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

So I was recently having a conversation with some people, women included, on this topic. At hand is the topic of whether regular sex is more intimate than oral sex.

I'm of the mind that it's not: I mean how can my tongue licking the holiest of holies while I fingerbang away, or her mouth slobbering over my knob be less intimate than us grinding our crotches together? But apparently I'm in the minority. Anyway, poll time.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

I'm with ya Tug. I've been arguing this for years.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

Strongly disagree

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

For me, the order of intimacy goes.

Kissing<<<<BJ<<<<<Sex&l t;<<<<<holding hands<<<<<<going down on her.

Obviously this is completely based in a male donimated POV where a girl putting my dick in her mouth until it shoots a foreign bodily fluid into her throat isn't that intimate, but me going down on her is like something I'll do once we're officially dating.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

It's all about face to face LDO

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

FWIW I have had sex with a fair amount of girls and

50% of the time I got a BJ on a prior occasion

of the times when sex came the first hookup, I got some head first in 85% of the time.

I don't think I've gone down on a girl until we have already had sex at least once.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
For me, the order of intimacy goes.

Kissing<<<<BJ<<<<<Sex&l t;<<<<<holding hands<<<<<<going down on her.

Obviously this is completely based in a male donimated POV where a girl putting my dick in her mouth until it shoots a foreign bodily fluid into her throat isn't that intimate, but me going down on her is like something I'll do once we're officially dating.

[/ QUOTE ]

I bet you could cut that down to a couple of arrows, and still get your point across!

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
For me, the order of intimacy goes.

Kissing<<<<BJ<<<<<Sex&l t;<<<<<holding hands<<<<<<going down on her.

Obviously this is completely based in a male donimated POV where a girl putting my dick in her mouth until it shoots a foreign bodily fluid into her throat isn't that intimate, but me going down on her is like something I'll do once we're officially dating.

[/ QUOTE ]

I bet you could cut that down to a couple of arrows, and still get your point across!

[/ QUOTE ]

i bet you're right!

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

Noah,

Mechanical like or real soulful-like with the eyes and dirty talk and [censored]?

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

tuq,

I had a pretty successful college career and have lived with the girl I plan to marry for a few years now. I think penetration is more intimate and, despite how flippant it's become around here, it's really not even close.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

need to add anal, both giving and receiving obv

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
tuq,

I had a pretty successful college career and have lived with the girl I plan to marry for a few years now. I think penetration is more intimate and, despite how flippant it's become around here, it's really not even close.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think its easy to give penetration meaning if its in a relationship that builds up to sex. Then she is giving herself to you, etc. Obviously the same doesn't work quite as well for oral since its viewed as an ancillary, purely for pleasure thing.

When it comes to a random girl, putting you condom-covered penis inside of her isn't nearly as intimate as having your face between her legs with all sorts of juices running all over you into your mouth.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

I don't think proximity has anything to do w/ intimacy. There is a closeness during oral b/c your mouth is right there but oral sex has never intimate for me and climax has nothing to do w/ intimacy either (girl or guy).

Girls go down on guys b/c it is a step that leads to sex, it is often times expected--no chick feels intimate after she has a load hanging off her chin or gurgling it around their mouth. Going down on a chick is often times done after sex has been performed at least once b/c guys don't take their time w/ chicks they are unfamiliar or semi-familiar w/.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

one of the reasons regular sex feels more intimate is because you're both doing kind of the same thing at the same time together. I mean some hookers won't kiss, correct? I don't think it's because they're worried about catching mono.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

Also regular sex makes babies, and somewhere deep in our limbic brains--meaning deeper than the knowledge she's on the pill--I think it's hard to forget that you're making a baby together. Although maybe gay guys have a good case against that argument.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

I'm a cunning linguist from way back and I agree with Tuq. Not necessarily b/c I feel like it's that special--I'm up for chowing down at the drop of a hat--but b/c from my experience women tend to think it's more intimate. Paging one of the three women in all of 2+2dom for their input...

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

We have 2 rabbits: one girl, one guy, both nuetered. Robert always tries to take Petunia from behind, but Petunia only allows oral sex. Robert eventually gives up trying to get behind her, and begrudgingly humps her face. Petunia clearly thinks intercourse is more intimate than oral sex.

My gf thinks oral sex (fellatio) is more intimate than regular styles, but she does not do either with Robert or Petunia, so this is irrelevalt. imo.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm a cunning linguist from way back and I agree with Tuq. Not necessarily b/c I feel like it's that special--I'm up for chowing down at the drop of a hat--but b/c from my experience women tend to think it's more intimate. Paging one of the three women in all of 2+2dom to read that I like going down and PM me.

[/ QUOTE ]

fyp


Also, please tell me that your avatar is not a picture of you, because I have a vivid imagination and picturing that goofy little goatee soaked and crusty with vag juice is making me dry heave.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

nothin wrong with either

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

I voted. no, yes, not applicable.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
Paging one of the three women in all of 2+2dom

[/ QUOTE ]


[ QUOTE ]
I voted. no, yes, not applicable.

[/ QUOTE ]



pretty sure not what he had in mind....

now i can't read this thread any more because i don't want to see remember what her answers correspond to.


ps- someone PM this to gobboboy.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

how is it n/a, you don't have a preference?

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
how is it n/a, you don't have a preference?

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe she never has relations?

In that case, she might be a virgin and that means gobboboy is probably the reincarnation of Jesus Christ.

Where is your God now?

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
how is it n/a, you don't have a preference?

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe she never has relations?

In that case, she might be a virgin and that means gobboboy is probably the reincarnation of Jesus Christ.

Where is your God now?

[/ QUOTE ]

http://fi.somethingawful.com/customt...e-gobboboy.jpg

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm a cunning linguist from way back and I agree with Tuq. Not necessarily b/c I feel like it's that special--I'm up for chowing down at the drop of a hat--but b/c from my experience women tend to think it's more intimate. Paging one of the three women in all of 2+2dom to read that I like going down and PM me.

[/ QUOTE ]

fyp


Also, please tell me that your avatar is not a picture of you, because I have a vivid imagination and picturing that goofy little goatee soaked and crusty with vag juice is making me dry heave.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nah--it's Bob Odenkirk from Mr. Show.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

regular sex is waaaay more intimate for a number of reasons. The foremost being there is penetration, which while maybe just being symbolic is a pretty profound thing when its shared between two people who have an emotional bond.

There is eye contact, looking into someones eyes while you are sharing a connection is much more intimate than holding the back of someones head while they slobber all over your nether region.

You are both actively participating in the gratification of the other person. Its not just you pleasing her, or her pleasing you, you are pleasing each other. Thats much more intimate than one person doing all the work and not getting pleasure themselves (or at leas the same degree of pleasure).


I think people who consider oral sex more intimate (I know a lot of girls who will let you [censored] them, but wont let you go down on them because "that's too personal") are mostly just having sex for the [censored] aspect of it. You can make sex pretty impersonal, and not all that intimate. But if intimacy is actually the goal, I cant even fathom how someone could consider oral a more intimate experience than regular sex.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
regular sex is waaaay more intimate for a number of reasons. The foremost being there is penetration, which while maybe just being symbolic is a pretty profound thing when its shared between two people who have an emotional bond.

There is eye contact, looking into someones eyes while you are sharing a connection is much more intimate than holding the back of someones head while they slobber all over your nether region.

You are both actively participating in the gratification of the other person. Its not just you pleasing her, or her pleasing you, you are pleasing each other. Thats much more intimate than one person doing all the work and not getting pleasure themselves (or at leas the same degree of pleasure).


I think people who consider oral sex more intimate (I know a lot of girls who will let you [censored] them, but wont let you go down on them because "that's too personal") are mostly just having sex for the [censored] aspect of it. You can make sex pretty impersonal, and not all that intimate. But if intimacy is actually the goal, I cant even fathom how someone could consider oral a more intimate experience than regular sex.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well put, despite your avatar.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

what is that av from anyways?

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]


There is eye contact,



[/ QUOTE ]

http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/340...spxtopbai1.jpg

The link is NSFW so don't click if you're a wage slave.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

When girls say they find oral more intimate, they don't necessarily mean "intimate"...most just mean oral is too embarrassing unless they are really comfortable. It's not really the same thing.

I think there's something deep in our core that says intercourse is more intimate. Something natural and instinctive. You're probably missing a chromosome or 2 if you think otherwise :P

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

Girls think oral is foreplay (ie precursor to the "real" thing) and/or they think you would let any chick blow you but would be more selective about who you do regular with. Therefore regular is the more intimate to them.

That might be a [censored] explanation but the point I'm attempting to make is: remember that intimacy for a woman has much less to do with physicality than for a guy. Not that the answer has to be different for a guy, just that your op seems to be coming at it from a strictly anatomical perspective.

p.s. alobar is right as usual and has rendered my post lame due to his being better at the english and the thinking.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

Since breaking up with the GF a few months ago, I have trouble w/ regular sex with other people, but BJs are all good. In fact, I think I always preferred them and my friends thought I was crazy. I dunno.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
When girls say they find oral more intimate, they don't necessarily mean "intimate"...most just mean oral is too embarrassing unless they are really comfortable. It's not really the same thing.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's exactly the same thing. They have to have a level of trust and comfort with you to not be embarrassed. That's intimacy.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

I like to have my cake and eat it, too.

Eating it is more intimate.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

Interesting responses thus far.

I'm not trying to change anyone's mind and that would be a retarded endeavor anyway. I've just always thought that putting your face in someone else's crotch is a more intimite act than putting the jigsaw puzzle together.

Also, the eye contact thing is a pretty good point but I find it less applicable in non-missionary positions. I don't really like that anyway. Cowgirl, I guess there's some eye contact but it's from several feet away. Reverse cowgirl & doggystyle, the only eye contact would come courtesy of a mirror.

I do think there are a LOT of women who don't feel comfortable with a guy going down on them, it just seems weird, thus they prefer intercourse. I think this accounts for a non-trivial percentage of women preferring regular sex.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

I would never want to be with a woman who doesn't feel comfortable with me going down town.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

A girl's hesitance to let you go down on her has little to do with how "intimate" she feels the act is.

She either:

-Is insecure about her body (~75%)

-Or doesn't really enjoy oral sex (~25%)


Edit: and there's definite overlap between the two categories.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

kipin,

Exactly!

As an aside: I am the oral sex MASTER! If I could have a resume on this it would be long. What's important is that I like it. I understand the whole gazing into the eyes and all that sweet stuff, but something about pleasing your partner - a couple dozen times - while receiving no obvious gratification yourself other than her receipt of said pleasure is hot to me.

Re: Intimacy: oral vs. regular sex
 

[ QUOTE ]
something about pleasing your partner - a couple dozen times - while receiving no obvious gratification yourself other than her receipt of said pleasure is hot to me.

[/ QUOTE ]


I foresee chains, handcuffs, and whips in your future.