The \"Never Say\" Book
 

Inspired by the love/hate threads on live play... what are the phrases that nobody would be sad if they were never heard again?

"All... out!" (fold)

(when a stack falls into the betting area in limit) "All in!"

(when an ace flops) "Shouldn't have folded my pocket aces!"

"Re-cap!"

(whenever two aces appear on a flop, regardless of how timid the preflop betting) "Jackpot!"

...

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"Do you have the xxxx" (where xxxx is a flush, straight, or set usually)

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

I ordered a black coffee you stupid [censored] bitch.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

Things I could stand to never hear again

- "WOW!"
- Any advice from the no nothing table coaches
- To the moron to my right... "Sir its on you..."

Things I always like to hear

- "I guess I have to pay you off"
- "I hate to do it, all I have is a draw, but I am AI"
- "The way you play scares the sssshit out of me"

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

'Big Blind Special' drives me nuts for some reason and SOMEONE is going to say it if the BB doesn't.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"They were suited."

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"Big blind special." after calling 4 bets with 35o and winning obv.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

Where I play, everything is "ridiculous". Beats, cold spells, hot spells, flops, that waitress, that ruling, everything. Find a new word, please!

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"I have two pair", for quads. Especially if three are on the board.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"ship it"

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

I hate it when people call the dealers crackwhores. Wait no I don't.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"can we have a new setup ?"

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

Come on Howard, how about my currently hot catch phrases...

"Flop me quads" (Since Hass pissed his pants after I said this once and played weak tight against me)
"Guess they want me to win" (after 4 limpers to my BB or SB)
"Guess I'm not wanted" (after 3 bets to my BB or SB)
"I hope I win this pot"

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"nice hand"

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

[ QUOTE ]
"I have two pair", for quads. Especially if three are on the board.

[/ QUOTE ]

This tilts me for some reason, espeially if I dont notice right away and slap my flush or boat down on the table triumphantly. Big blind special or small blind special after calling a pf raise with garbage that wins.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

Two words: "Raisy daisey."

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"I have a set" when they show three of a kind, two on the board.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"I raise" when first into the pot.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

any phrase with the word "chark" in it. As in "De chark is hungry" or "De chark is all een"

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"CHECK?"

Thought of all these threads where someone uses the word "check" as a question and is misunderstood last night when the floor had to come to the table over another of these. Turn is dealt, it's check/check and the first-to-act says "he CHECKED?" just as the river comes out. 2nd player hears "CHECK" and says "check" and just then FTA slams a stack on the table. Four-way argument results (the two players, plus each player picked up a "champion" for his cause). The bickering continued between one player and one champion for 2 minutes after the floor had ruled; the player who thought he was being angled shut up and accepted the ruling that the bet stands after uttering a single "this is BS" comment.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"i never win with pocket aces ZOMGWTFBBQ, id rather have XX"

Where XX = their 1st loves last 2 phone digits, or w/e the [censored] sentimental value those two rags possess

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

Any crude remark ("Happy Meal", "Dinner for Two", or "My favorite hand!") when a 96 is tabled. Especially if there is a female at the table.

I love telling offenders, "That lady sitting down there at the other end of the table is my mother, so take it easy, all right?", even though my mother has never set foot in a poker room.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

before the flop is dealt: "Pick me dealer!" and they really do mean it. they need help. lots of help.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"Big blind special" after they call a ton more preflop makes me so ridiculously depressed.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

[ QUOTE ]
Any crude remark ("Happy Meal", "Dinner for Two", or "My favorite hand!") when a 96 is tabled. Especially if there is a female at the table.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, that's incredibly sexist.

Psst, women know about penes and vaginas, too. I hear some of 'em have even had sex. Except for my mother; she's a saint.

(Yes, the plural of penis is penes. Makes you wonder what Santa's elves are really made of...)

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"Donkey" anyone that calls someone a donkey and is wearing a FTP hat and sunglass is my new target. Not to mention you suck at poker sir.

Things Ive said that I really like.

I was the first BB in a single table and said "I like to go all in on my first BB." I proceeded to look down at AA and got 2 callers.

River went check check with some a-hole "I have a 4 card flush." Board was [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] He says "good" and mucks. Dealer says "Jack high wins." The guy then says "you said flush" everyone at the table simultaniously says "no he said 4 card flush." Everyone hated this guy to say the least (so did the dealer).

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

[ QUOTE ]
any phrase with the word "chark" in it. As in "De chark is hungry" or "De chark is all een"

[/ QUOTE ]

or how do you say the chark in Spaneesh...Ummmbertoe

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Big blind special" after they call a ton more preflop makes me so ridiculously depressed.

[/ QUOTE ]

/thread

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"One more spade" by a rock who just capped it on the turn with a board of:

A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] K [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] 7 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] K [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

nit...

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

[ QUOTE ]
"Donkey" anyone that calls someone a donkey and is wearing a FTP hat and sunglass is my new target. Not to mention you suck at poker sir.

[/ QUOTE ]

I love being called a donkey! All the women just love them. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

After all they are cute, have big brown eyes, and have these massive and long... ears.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"This f---ing dealer"

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

Something that has always bothered me is morons who say "raise" when they are making the initial bet in a hand - "uh, sir, that's a BET" -, and similarly many of same players say "re-raise" when they make the first raise.

I always want to punch these idiots. I played 20-40 just last week with some dude who did this even when other players would make subtle points about it. Amazing that people playing medium stakes don't understand the differences between the terms.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

SET UP!

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

[ QUOTE ]
Something that has always bothered me is morons who say "raise" when they are making the initial bet in a hand - "uh, sir, that's a BET" -, and similarly many of same players say "re-raise" when they make the first raise.

[/ QUOTE ]

Eh, I don't get too bent out of shape over this. I also sometimes say "call" instead of "check" from a post or the blind. They're all technically correct. You are raising the bet from zero to some number of chips. You are using your forced bet to call.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

"that was a sick"......beat, hand, etc.

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"I put you all-in" w/ 2 people left to act that have this gimp covered

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

During a tournament "How much is the ante?" on every single hand.

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

[ QUOTE ]
Any crude remark ("Happy Meal", "Dinner for Two", or "My favorite hand!") when a 96 is tabled. Especially if there is a female at the table.


[/ QUOTE ]

DID YOU KNOW...

Woman are equal to men?

Re: The \"Never Say\" Book
 

as others have said... setup, calling trips a set, calling a raise a reraise

and also... cappuccino