BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

As seen on SomethingAwful, I bring you BBV's own Anonymous Confessions thread! This is the thread where you tell us about something you've done - gross, horrifying, evil, incestuous, or mancrushes on other posters - without ever letting the Internet know whose Internet nickname was behind the ickyness.

Rules:
-I will post (almost) anything you send me at spamsuxxors@yahoo.com (lol old dead spam trap account) in this thread without your name/email attached. If you're horrified of discovery, make a throwaway email account and send your confession from there.

-No forum drama, confessions to recent violent felonies, or dumb fake stories (if you're sending a fake story it should pass the 'is this obviously BS' test.) All other entries are acceptable.

-Stories will be posted in the next 1-2 hours, around 12 PM (or whenever I feel like waking up) and periodically throughout the day.

gogogogo

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

First ever BBV confession appropriately about fish

[ QUOTE ]
When i was 8 years old i really wanted a pet. My parents didn't want to
commit to a cat or dog, so they bought me a goldfish with the tank and
everything. The first two weeks were awesome! I'd watch this little goldfish
swim around the tank all the time and named him "Big Red" because he was
more red than gold. In the next month i also added a siamese fighting fish
to the tank. In the following months i got sick of having to clean the tank
and feed the fish etc... It turned into a chore...and i spent my entire life
growing up trying to eliminate chores. So one rainy Saturday morning, my
parents were out grocery shopping and only my older brother was home. I
locked the door to my room and grabbed the net that i used to scoop up the
fish when i had to clean the tank. I picked up the siamese fighting fish
(there were two at this point as the goldfish was dead) and i held it above
the tank out of the water. I waited until it stopped flopping around and was
sure it was dead. Then i just dumped them back in the tank. When my parents
came home i told them the fish died and they flushed it down the toilet.
They asked me if i wanted another one and i assured them that i'd be okay
without a fish. I guess i'm a murderer?

[/ QUOTE ]

Evenkeal dramament (note: this is as close to forum drama as I'm gonna post, since it's about a banned member)

[ QUOTE ]
I sent an email to the dean of engineering at Waterloo University regarding Evenkeal's paying of someone to do his homework yesterday at 3:14AM, linking him to the relevant thread. He has not yet replied.

I was also the person who posted EK's life story at flopturnriver.com, and I also did it at fullcontactpoker and pocketfives. Some random guy from FTR posted saying that he had IP banned me from that site. He has not.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]

Evenkeal dramament (note: this is as close to forum drama as I'm gonna post, since it's about a banned member)

[ QUOTE ]
I sent an email to the dean of engineering at Waterloo University regarding Evenkeal's paying of someone to do his homework yesterday at 3:14AM, linking him to the relevant thread. He has not yet replied.

I was also the person who posted EK's life story at flopturnriver.com, and I also did it at fullcontactpoker and pocketfives. Some random guy from FTR posted saying that he had IP banned me from that site. He has not.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]
Wow, that's disgusting. Get someone booted from uni because they are annoying on an online forum.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The prof thing was appropriate because he tried to screw another poster similarly.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

Like I said, Cake is rigged for 2+2'ers playing high, but against them playing low

[ QUOTE ]

I managed to do what I'm pretty sure nobody else has done on twoplustwo, busto my account at sportsbook.com/cake. I deposited 200, ran it up to 450 playing .50/.25 unlimited hold them six maximum tables, ran it down to 250, then played within my normal game of .10/.20 only to play poorly enough to run it down to 50 dollars. I was so angry with my play, that I went to the craps table, and now my account has less than 90 cents. However, I am up almost 4 buyins ($100 dollars woohoo) in the past three days (long term results woohoo) at stars. I should stick to donkaments.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The prof thing was appropriate because he tried to screw another poster similarly.

[/ QUOTE ]
this doesnt make it right. lets end this discussion as i'm sure adanthar wants to stay on topic of confessions.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The prof thing was appropriate because he tried to screw another poster similarly.

[/ QUOTE ]
Out of $50 bucks, right? Seems fair. Also, you're assuming the person he tried to screw sent the prof that email. But most likely it was just some pathetic person here who has no life and thought he should take matters into his own hands. BBV is really becoming pathetic.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

i can attest to cake being rigged at low stakes, i ran 1k up to 4.2k at 2/4 then proceeded to run horribly and am now down to 1600 or something

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

On the confession side, at one point I became convinced that g2cu had actually NOT won 10K in his high stakes sessions. But by the end I was again convinced that he had once the data mining proved unreliable. Not much of a confession, but there it is.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The prof thing was appropriate because he tried to screw another poster similarly.

[/ QUOTE ]
this doesnt make it right. lets end this discussion as i'm sure adanthar wants to stay on topic of confessions.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not saying it's right, but I don't feel bad since he did the same thing.

Now back to whatever Andanthar wants.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

I'm fat.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

keep em coming boys

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

tonight i was robbed at gunpoint for the first time

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm fat.

[/ QUOTE ]
i know who did this one!

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

BAN WTF! 2+2 IS CRAP

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

I watch American Idol, The Hills and The Girls Next Door.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
This is the thread where you tell us about something you've done - gross, horrifying, evil

[/ QUOTE ]
I folded the third nuts getting 4.8 to 1.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is the thread where you tell us about something you've done - gross, horrifying, evil

[/ QUOTE ]
I folded the third nuts getting 4.8 to 1.

[/ QUOTE ]
were you playing omaha?

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is the thread where you tell us about something you've done - gross, horrifying, evil

[/ QUOTE ]
I folded the third nuts getting 4.8 to 1.

[/ QUOTE ]

very nice

more almost but not quite (bbv4l) forum drama

[ QUOTE ]
I goto the same school ipot went to hs at, and I have a class with girl1. She was talking to two of her friends ( they all sit behind me ) and i heard girl1 talk about how "well hung" ipot was. Had to get it out there. And he is also holding out on bbv. He has naked pics of girl99, share?

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
I goto the same school ipot went to hs at, and I have a class with girl1. She was talking to two of her friends ( they all sit behind me ) and i heard girl1 talk about how "well hung" ipot was. Had to get it out there. And he is also holding out on bbv.

He has naked pics of girl99, share?

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL post or ban.

Grim robbed at gunpoint?

This thread rules.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

less jopke confessions, more anonymous ones

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
I watch American Idol, The Hills and The Girls Next Door.

[/ QUOTE ]
nothing gay about the last 2 the first one meh.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
I goto the same school ipot went to hs at, and I have a class with girl1. She was talking to two of her friends ( they all sit behind me ) and i heard girl1 talk about how "well hung" ipot was. Had to get it out there. And he is also holding out on bbv. He has naked pics of girl99, share?

[/ QUOTE ]
lmao ipot emailing you isn't anonymous.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

Here we go, this is more like it

[ QUOTE ]
throway email, so don't bother trying to trace.. I post semi-regularly in
bbv.

I'm a man, married a while, and my wife and I do dominant/submissive sex
with me being sub. She dog collars me, light bondage, spanks me, I dress in
her undergarmets and she SIIMP with a strap on, calls me a whore, [censored] etc.

It's actually done wonders for our sex life since I confessed this fantasy
recently. We don't do this everytime, but occasionally.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

Ironically, this one got filtered to my spam folder (get it, spam?)

[ QUOTE ]
i am incredibly lazy. i haven't done laundry in 6 weeks, and have worn whatever has the least amount of stains on it since then. i've been wearing nothing but sandals for the past week because i am out of clean socks. today, i wore my last clean t shirt, and only have one pair of boxers that doesn't smell like balls. there are over 20 cups filled with various amounts of cola, water, and alcohol in my room. i don't actively go out and meet girls/try to get laid because it would mean that i would have to do some laundry and clean my room if i ever wanted anything to happen. i'm not gay or anything, but the infinite amount of porn online makes dating seem so much less attractive. basically, i hate a part of myself for being such an ambitionless slob.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
Here we go, this is more like it

[ QUOTE ]
throway email, so don't bother trying to trace.. I post semi-regularly in
bbv.

I'm a man, married a while, and my wife and I do dominant/submissive sex
with me being sub. She dog collars me, light bondage, spanks me, I dress in
her undergarmets and she SIIMP with a strap on, calls me a whore, [censored] etc.

It's actually done wonders for our sex life since I confessed this fantasy
recently. We don't do this everytime, but occasionally.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]
vig?

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHA. i will confess right here no bag over head. i love chronic and smoke 100 times a day. i grow pot at my friends, i do coke when i party hard. and oh yea i fish WITHOUT a fishing L's. andi litter in the ocean sometimes

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

awesome thread adanthar

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

i have been busto 8 times, all of which have been 100% my fault. as a result i am far poorer than i would like.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

link to original SomethingAwful thread?

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

there are probably two dozen of them and the originals are pay forum only now

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
Ironically, this one got filtered to my spam folder (get it, spam?)

[ QUOTE ]
i am incredibly lazy. i haven't done laundry in 6 weeks, and have worn whatever has the least amount of stains on it since then. i've been wearing nothing but sandals for the past week because i am out of clean socks. today, i wore my last clean t shirt, and only have one pair of boxers that doesn't smell like balls. there are over 20 cups filled with various amounts of cola, water, and alcohol in my room. i don't actively go out and meet girls/try to get laid because it would mean that i would have to do some laundry and clean my room if i ever wanted anything to happen. i'm not gay or anything, but the infinite amount of porn online makes dating seem so much less attractive. basically, i hate a part of myself for being such an ambitionless slob.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

can't we just sticky this?

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

Adanth,

Awesome thread, dude, nh.

AND WHAT IN THE [censored] IS THIS? Dude really this is nutso.

[ QUOTE ]
Here we go, this is more like it

[ QUOTE ]
throway email, so don't bother trying to trace.. I post semi-regularly in
bbv.

I'm a man, married a while, and my wife and I do dominant/submissive sex
with me being sub. She dog collars me, light bondage, spanks me, I dress in
her undergarmets and she SIIMP with a strap on, calls me a whore, [censored] etc.

It's actually done wonders for our sex life since I confessed this fantasy
recently. We don't do this everytime, but occasionally.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
i have been busto twice, once for 11k and once for 7.5k, all of which have been 100% blackjack's fault. as a result i am far poorer than i would like.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

I wish I could take advantage of this awesome business opportunity, but I'm sure Idi'll cover it for us

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Adanthar,
Pls,
I am an average-aged man of 40 years of age,a Persian
of Iranian origin. I lived in Beirut,Lebanon where I
owned a flourishing currency trading company(Bureau de
Change),before the Israeli airstrike in Beirut that
razed my office building to void and caused my
business a tremendous setback after killing a few
staff including Alas,my wife and pretty daughter,
Nadia.
The reason iam contacting you is to find out if I can
invest my money in your line of business,since It has
become necessary and inevitable for me to diversify
the scope of my investment and leave beirut for a more
stable business climate like your country; knowing
that security of life and property can no longer be
guaranteed back in Lebanon ,especially now that most
of my creditors(i.e,people to whom i am
indebted)believe i was on seat the day my office
complex was razed down and so think i am dead by now.

Meanwhile i am still receiving treatment at the
Intensive Care Unit of a Plastic Surgery Hoispital in
Lancashier , England where i was flown to by a Doctor
from Cyprus,( you know all the victims were initially
evacuated to Cyprus Greece). I did not want to be
found among the casualties&survivors back in Cyprus
for obvious security reasons of the 19 million dollars
in my Safe Deposit Box.
I entrusted the money to a DIPLOMATIC SECURTY ORG.that
can deliver the consignment to any destination i want
now without any hiccupps ,since they are aware that i
am still at the hospital and have asked me if i have a
relative whom they can despatch the consignment and a
Diplomat accompany the consignment to your country
without screening or the money being detected by any
currency detecting machine at your Local Airport
,because of the special packaging and the
privileges,ie diplomatic imunity he will be accorded
at your local airport when he arrives coupled with the
D/L TAG on the luggage.

I may have to be in the hospital for some time now
because of the burns,shock and possioble internal
injury i sustained from the bomb blast.
Please let me know urgently if you can receive the
consignment from the diplomat ,because he does not
know that the box contains physical cash and not only
the gem stones/Artefacts i declared to him.
So let me have your direct phone number so we can
negotiate on the commensurate percentage of the total
sum i shall give to you for assisting me to see this
deal through and to enable the Diplomat contact you
and deliver the Safe Deposit Box to you as soon as he
arrives.

I await your response .
Best regards.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

I don't care what anybody says, this is hot

[ QUOTE ]
I have this first cousin who is very good looking. She is about 4 yrs younger than me. When I was 18 (her 14), she came to visit with her fam, and after a few weeks of flirting with me, one night we got drunk (last night she was here I think it was). We ended up making out, and she was so shitfaced she started grabbing on my ding dong yo! I knew it was wrong at the time, so i was just about to pull away. But just before I could my mom busts in. Yikes. mega-embarrassment. My mom ended up being cool with it and not telling anyone, but she always kept a watchful eye afterwards.

Sad thing is that as the years have gone by, little things like this have happened with her again and again. Now we don't kiss, she will usually just stick my hand down her pants (yay...) and let me play with her big boobs. I know this is all [censored] up, but she is really attractive with a sexy personality. [censored], even I know I would do it again. I don't know if i'd go all the way... but man is this f'd up.

flame away. ill pretend not to cry.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

adanthar having 3rd cousins who openly dated for a few years was very akward I'm sure 1st is much worse for those around you.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
the stuff about posting his life story at the different forums is funny. i agree about the emailing the prof part though.

[/ QUOTE ]

The prof thing was appropriate because he tried to screw another poster similarly.

[/ QUOTE ]
Out of $50 bucks, right? Seems fair. Also, you're assuming the person he tried to screw sent the prof that email. But most likely it was just some pathetic person here who has no life and thought he should take matters into his own hands. BBV is really becoming pathetic.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't email his dean because I don't believe in "telling" on people but he did pay someone else to write his paper for him. He deserves any punishment that is given.

Re: BBV Anonymous Confessions
 

-"I didn't rat dad, I didn't rat."..I did a good thing, right pop?"

-"Yeah, you did a good thing...you did a good thing for a bad man."