My Office on Fridays
 

After a night of Thirsty Thursdays, guys really tend to blow up the toilets on Fridays. Luckily I made it out alive, but I didn't get far...

http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t...illy/broom.jpg

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

wtf you don't poop at work? pooping at work means you're getting paid to poop, which means you win at life. go poop at work.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

You should eat a meal instead of smoking crack all day, you wouldn't be so wicked skinny.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

I can't drop one if there is someone sitting in the stall directly next to me. Anyone else have this problem?

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

Also you have no ears.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

I don't poop at work because I don't want to get da crabs that GA has and also because there is poo all over the toile between 9 and 5 and because it stinks in there and because i am a germophobe in some regards

The end.

PS, picture is not drawn to scale DRIZ

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

Solution: bring an empty 2 liter coke bottle to work, urinate in it throughout the day

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
Solution: bring an empty 2 liter coke bottle to work, urinate in it throughout the day

[/ QUOTE ]

Then use for JENKEM?

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
wtf you don't poop at work? pooping at work means you're getting paid to poop, which means you win at life. go poop at work.

[/ QUOTE ]
Pooping at work is the hidden break. I can easily make it last 15 minutes, and if I am tired I just put my head in my hands and take a quick nap right there on the toilet. Instead of 2 fifteen minute breaks I get three sometimes four a day! There is nothing better than getting paid to poop imo.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
wtf you don't poop at work? pooping at work means you're getting paid to poop, which means you win at life. go poop at work.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is correct. 15 min per day X ~200 work days per year = 3000 min. per year = 50 hours = 1.25 work weeks spent pooping.

This also might be why I smoke cigarettes justifying that I get paid to smoke too.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

BTW that picture is LOL

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
wtf you don't poop at work? pooping at work means you're getting paid to poop, which means you win at life. go poop at work.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is correct. 15 min per day X ~200 work days per year = 3000 min. per year = 50 hours = 1.25 work weeks spent pooping.

This also might be why I smoke cigarettes justifying that I get paid to smoke too.

[/ QUOTE ]

qfmft. between cigarette breaks and poop time (and the other 7.5hrs a day I spend reading books / on 2p2, like right now) I'd say the amount of work I do asymtopally (asymptotally? asymptotically?) approaches zero.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

Hell I think I'm gonna go poop right now. If it feels remotely like diarrhea I am putting in a request to go home for the day.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
Hell I think I'm gonna go poop right now. If it feels remotely like diarrhea I am putting in a request to go home for the day.

[/ QUOTE ]

may the squirts be with you

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
Hell I think I'm gonna go poop right now. If it feels remotely like diarrhea I am putting in a request to go home for the day.

[/ QUOTE ]

I LOLed at this

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Solution: bring an empty 2 liter coke bottle to work, urinate in it throughout the day

[/ QUOTE ]

Then use for JENKEM?

[/ QUOTE ]

A+

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
wtf you don't poop at work? pooping at work means you're getting paid to poop, which means you win at life. go poop at work.

[/ QUOTE ]
Pooping at work is the hidden break. I can easily make it last 15 minutes, and if I am tired I just put my head in my hands and take a quick nap right there on the toilet. Instead of 2 fifteen minute breaks I get three sometimes four a day! There is nothing better than getting paid to poop imo.

[/ QUOTE ]

beat : Having a job w/ dedicated breaks

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
wtf you don't poop at work? pooping at work means you're getting paid to poop, which means you win at life. go poop at work.

[/ QUOTE ]
Pooping at work is the hidden break. I can easily make it last 15 minutes, and if I am tired I just put my head in my hands and take a quick nap right there on the toilet. Instead of 2 fifteen minute breaks I get three sometimes four a day! There is nothing better than getting paid to poop imo.

[/ QUOTE ]

beat : Having a job w/ dedicated breaks

[/ QUOTE ]

QFT imo

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
beat : Having a job

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
beat : Having a job

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[/ QUOTE ]

I dunno, I'm pretty glad that I'm gainfully employed because I [censored] suck at poker.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
wtf you don't poop at work? pooping at work means you're getting paid to poop, which means you win at life. go poop at work.

[/ QUOTE ]
Pooping at work is the hidden break. I can easily make it last 15 minutes, and if I am tired I just put my head in my hands and take a quick nap right there on the toilet. Instead of 2 fifteen minute breaks I get three sometimes four a day! There is nothing better than getting paid to poop imo.

[/ QUOTE ]


qft

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
wtf you don't poop at work? pooping at work means you're getting paid to poop, which means you win at life. go poop at work.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is correct. 15 min per day X ~200 work days per year = 3000 min. per year = 50 hours = 1.25 work weeks spent pooping.

This also might be why I smoke cigarettes justifying that I get paid to smoke too.

[/ QUOTE ]

qfmft. between cigarette breaks and poop time (and the other 7.5hrs a day I spend reading books / on 2p2, like right now) I'd say the amount of work I do asymtopally (asymptotally? asymptotically?) approaches zero.

[/ QUOTE ]


It amazes me when people say they don't do any work at work and still get paid. Isn't there anyone anywhere that expects to seem some kind of results? Can you please explain how this is possible? I have never worked in an office so I don't understand these things.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

First of all I have had two jobs where work was VERY minimal. The first one was in an office with me and 6 GORGEOUS girls (7/10 at least imo) and on Fridays I would bbq for all of us and we would get drunk. No bull. Now I work for the local paper setting up the legal ads. I just sit and wait for calls and emails and then spend ~2 minutes on any given ad setting it up. It's really easy. The rest of the time I just browse the internets and chill/flirt with the one hot girl that works here.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
It amazes me when people say they don't do any work at work and still get paid. Isn't there anyone anywhere that expects to seem some kind of results? Can you please explain how this is possible? I have never worked in an office so I don't understand these things.

[/ QUOTE ]
I was lucky enough to get a management position in a growing company that, for the prior 5 years or so had complete fools in this position. I am able to do in about 20 hours what it took them 40-50 hours to do (and they still screwed it up).

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

This is why companies should give their employees more paid vacation time because obviously people don't need to be there 40 hours a week. imo.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

I work for a woman and I sit around here on 2+2 and playing poker allday and shell come around and be like clean up, and I'm like yea ok, and she coms in the next day and is like do you not know how to clean will you please clean up and I'm like relax baby I'm just takin a piss.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

I'm pooping right now.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

Bumped for new discoveries...

http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t...ly/broom-1.jpg

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

HOW I POOP @ WORK:

- wet toilet paper and clean all porcelin that will be anywhere remotely close to my ass

- flush

- wash hands from cleaning co-workers stale dry urine

- piss (sitting down obv)

- pull out Bluff or Maxim Magazine that I have hidden in some folder with a company letterhead

- poop & read magazine

- sit & finish reading magazine

- wipe/flush

my poop is an 18-24 min break imo

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]

- sit & finish reading magazine



[/ QUOTE ]
most important part of any poop

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
- sit & finish reading magazine

- wipe/flush

[/ QUOTE ]
I'd probably wipe then finish reading... no big deal.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
- sit & finish reading magazine

- wipe/flush

[/ QUOTE ]
I'd probably wipe then finish reading... no big deal.

[/ QUOTE ]

How long until a crust forms?

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]
HOW I POOP @ WORK:

- wet toilet paper and clean all porcelin that will be anywhere remotely close to my ass

- flush

- wash hands from cleaning co-workers stale dry urine

- piss (sitting down obv)

- pull out Bluff or Maxim Magazine that I have hidden in some folder with a company letterhead

- poop & read magazine

- sit & finish reading magazine

- wipe/flush

my poop is an 18-24 min break imo

[/ QUOTE ]

Looks pretty standard, just be careful you don't accidently piss sitting down and then not poop. Sitting down to just piss is a symptom of the gay.

Re: My Office on Fridays
 

[ QUOTE ]

I can't drop one if there is someone sitting in the stall directly next to me. Anyone else have this problem?


[/ QUOTE ]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parcopresis