Being Assertive
 

I've been noticing lately that a lot of my friends are really passive in most situations. This sort of thing really irritates me, as I have always been the sort of person to stand up to get what I want, not sit back and complain, without doing anything to change the situation.

Just wondering if anyone else has situations where being assertive has paid off? A few examples of mine:

1: Getting fair compensation when things go awry with a product/company. My family traveled to Salt Lake City to ski a few years back over Easter. Airports were crowded and we voluntarily took 3 bumps to later flights, netting about $2k in airline vouchers each. Additionally, we negotiated with the airline attendants to get a ton of food vouchers for the airport. Not really a huge deal, just mentioned that we were hungry, and they instantly gave us the vouchers.

2: Challenging professors on grades. I feel like professors will go easy on me just to get me out of their hair. On the first paper or larger assignment, I will have them review my work before turning it in. I think this gives them the impression I am an overachiever (even if I am not), and leads to way easier grading.

3: What actually sparked this post, although somewhat trivial. I went to dinner tonight with a few friends, and the service was pretty terrible. Our drinks sat empty for a while, with them complaining about the service. I suggested they get a refill at the bar, which they thought was a terrible idea because "a bartender doesn't give a [censored] about your free refill". I went up and got a fresh drink in about 30 seconds.

I love getting better service/free stuff just because I ask (politely), and i'm sure the rest of you have ideas I have never thought of, so any input is appreciated.

Re: Being Assertive
 

I randomly asked for extra mashed potatos at a fast-food restaurant many years ago. I got some, too, so that was pretty sweet.

Re: Being Assertive
 

i think a better thread would be common, realistic situations where it's more beneficial to be passive :P

but <3 imsa

Re: Being Assertive
 

I think you are spot on here in your general philosophy and in the examples you gave.

Except for the grading one. I always hated when people did that crap.

Re: Being Assertive
 

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2: Challenging professors on grades.

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i just wish they'd take the time to grade [censored] properly in the first place when i pay $18k/semester to take their stupid classes.

Re: Being Assertive
 

a. "I want a BJ right now."

b. Long time ago, I wanted to touch breasts. Girl obviously pushed me away but I kept being assertive. When I finally touched them, she kept on letting me.

c. "Bend over."

Re: Being Assertive
 

I really hate people that did #2 a lot.

Re: Being Assertive
 

SlowHabit,

That is rape.

Imsa,

I hate people that challenge grades, I hate people that care about grades, I hate people who have parents that care too much about grades, I hate people who put stock into other people's good grades, and I hate people who think that complaining about grades is an example of being assertive. Your examples suck, a good example would be striking up a conversation with someone that you don't know, for instance.

Your thread should be titled: "When To Complain, By someone who Gets Bitched at Himself a Lot."

Re: Being Assertive
 

If a professor is going to change a grade because I went in and talked to them, doesn't that mean they weren't really dead-set on the grade they initially gave?

EDIT: To clarify, the times I go to professors/TAs the most is with papers, and almost always before. I get suggestions, make the changes, and usually do very well on that assignment. I think I only took a paper in after grading maybe twice.

Re: Being Assertive
 

[ QUOTE ]
If a professor is going to change a grade because I went in and talked to them, doesn't that mean they weren't really dead-set on the grade they initially gave?

EDIT: To clarify, the times I go to professors/TAs the most is with papers, and almost always before. I get suggestions, make the changes, and usually do very well on that assignment. I think I only took a paper in after grading maybe twice.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, it means "I don't give a fk about this kid, and if he wants a B+ instead of a B it will be worth it to save the next 15 minutes of my life listening to what he has to say."

Re: Being Assertive
 

[ QUOTE ]
To clarify, the times I go to professors/TAs the most is with papers, and almost always before.

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thats not being assertive, that's being a nerd

Re: Being Assertive
 

*sigh*

I'm going to drop the academia stuff before it turns into a flamefest.


[ QUOTE ]
i think a better thread would be common, realistic situations where it's more beneficial to be passive :P



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I can't think of any off the top of my head?

Re: Being Assertive
 

god imsa, u rule so hard. Plz to be mentoring me again?

Re: Being Assertive
 

[ QUOTE ]
SlowHabit,

That is rape.



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It's not rape if she enjoys it [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

Re: Being Assertive
 

I'm often aggressive, but I think it comes from military and police background. One of my favorite quotes is, "Don't complain unless you're going to do something about it."

I also don't like making a stink out of anything, but there is a difference between defending your opinion and being aggressive to get things done. I think that is the difference that Imsa is making. Sometimes you see people flipping out because their mash potatoes are lumpy, whereas, Imsa is talking about taking the initiative to make things right and the way they should be.

If you feel that you deserve something, then by all means, get what you deserve. It's all about character and standing up for what is right.