Re: Please respond: a short fiction piece
 

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I'll be responding again tomorr with what turns out to be the final submission copy.

I don't think the ambiguity of setting matters to the theme of the story. That said, writername is correct in what I was personally thinking writing it.

Rushmore,

I don't think I was trying to be overly clever. I wasn't trying to pull a huge veil over their heads to mislead them entirely. I just simply said that the room would hear it, so naturally, the reader assumes Jackson did too. Then I hint at the contrary two sentences later. It isn't like I set the reader up and then 200 pages later say "it was all a dream" or something too crazy.

I just wanted a small bit of something to add substance to it (which I really think it does add). But obviously a piece of literature likely won't please everyone, and certainly not something constrained to 200 words.

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In retrospect, what I think I probably meant to say was that the most effective and artistic writing (particularly short story writing) that I have read doesn't use any sort of device whatsoever.

Again, i'll bring up Carver, because he is such a fine example of what I'm saying. His craft is so finely honed that aside from flat-out brilliance with the language, there is a poingnancy to the tales he tells as well.

That said, I guess it's funny that I mentioned Fight Club here, which has one of the most definitive "clever devices" I can think of.

Excuse me..."of which I can think."

Re: Please respond: a short fiction piece
 

Rushmore, I don't disagree with what you're saying entirely or anything. I will remind you of one simple fact, in addition to my defensive response above (:)). I am not Carver, nor am I flat-out brilliant with language. So, of course, I may fall victim to needing to rely on some sleight of hand (even though I still contend it is the reader's doing mostly).

Multiple entries allowed, yes. There is no way I would scrap this one after what has gone into it. The workshop forum has been incredibly useful (and much better than the one I had in creative writing class). For everything called into question, I realize that either (a) I can improve on it and make it better or (b) I am forced to consider the reason that I chose to do what I chose to do and then I gain a better understanding of my writing and what I am trying to accomplish.

Additionally, Rushmore, I just wanted to add in one quick snippet. Some of the best short fiction I have read makes the reader want to reread the story to get something they didn't get the time before. That is what I was going for, and in this case, I relied on that "a-ha moment" to try and get the reader to want to read again. So in some ways, it might be difference in what type of short story you and I find appealing that we see the "trick" idea differently.

Obbbbbbviously, we can't get it to work all the time, but ah well. Haha.

Re: Please respond: a short fiction piece
 

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Rushmore, I don't disagree with what you're saying entirely or anything. I will remind you of one simple fact, in addition to my defensive response above (:)). I am not Carver, nor am I flat-out brilliant with language. So, of course, I may fall victim to needing to rely on some sleight of hand (even though I still contend it is the reader's doing mostly).

Multiple entries allowed, yes. There is no way I would scrap this one after what has gone into it. The workshop forum has been incredibly useful (and much better than the one I had in creative writing class). For everything called into question, I realize that either (a) I can improve on it and make it better or (b) I am forced to consider the reason that I chose to do what I chose to do and then I gain a better understanding of my writing and what I am trying to accomplish.

Additionally, Rushmore, I just wanted to add in one quick snippet. Some of the best short fiction I have read makes the reader want to reread the story to get something they didn't get the time before. That is what I was going for, and in this case, I relied on that "a-ha moment" to try and get the reader to want to read again. So in some ways, it might be difference in what type of short story you and I find appealing that we see the "trick" idea differently.

Obbbbbbviously, we can't get it to work all the time, but ah well. Haha.

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Yes, all quite true.

To be fair, I'd say you executed your small device pretty well, actually. Also, your contention that it is a matter of taste rather than a matter of quality seems reasonably accurate.

All of this is much easier to say based upon the fact that you did not feel the need to point out my misspelling of the word poignancy.

That was kind.

Re: Please respond: a short fiction piece
 

Nah, I just PM people when they say mute or intensive. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]