What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

I guess last year we didn’t tip the paper guy enough, or maybe he’s just bitter at being a 30-year old who delivers newspapers for extra money, but for the last year he has managed to throw the morning paper under my wife’s car with Roger Clemens-like accuracy. I don’t mean several days a week, or even 5 out of 6, but every frickin’ morning he manages to nail the delivery so that it’s underneath her Camry, squarely in the middle. At first I was pissed, but he’s so consistent it’s actually pretty funny. Anyway, while I appreciate the guy’s tenacity and aim, the joke is getting old. Calling and complaining does no good, as the circulation department is completely disconnected from the actual delivery folks. I don't expect this behavior to change unless I give him a better tip this year, and that just ain't gonna happen.

With the holidays rolling around, I expect to get his annual “It’s Been A Pleasure Delivering Your Paper, Please Give Me A Tip” card any day now. What’s my best play here? As you can tell, I don’t hate the guy for doing this, but I'll be damned if I'm going to reward him for being a bastard for the last 12 months. I’d rather respond with something clever -- not cruel, and not exactly vindictive, but clever.

One thought I had was to just send him a “Thank you” card, but not include anything, so he can spend a little time wondering if I made a mistake and forgot to include the tip, or if I really intended to send him an empty card. But this may be too subtle. Any better ideas?

Re: What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

Get a piece of plywood, lean it up against the back of the car and spray paint on it:

[ QUOTE ]
Aim this way for tip
<------

[/ QUOTE ]

Make the arrow point whatever direction your porch is from the car.

Example:
http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/6...wspaperhw9.jpg

Re: What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

Evan,

OP didn't say anything about having a crooked doorframe.

Re: What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

Put a toy car (like a match-box or something) in the card with his tip underneath it. Then add something witty like

"We all love finding paper under our cars."

Only less stupid and more witty.


Option B, kill his family and serve him a nice warm bowl of chili for a tip.

Re: What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

First of all, it makes no economic sense to tip a paper-boy. It's like tipping the cable company.

Second (and related to the first), just call the newspaper and complain.

Re: What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

[ QUOTE ]
First of all, it makes no economic sense to tip a paper-boy. It's like tipping the cable company.

Second (and related to the first), just call the newspaper and complain.

[/ QUOTE ]

It would make sense to tip the cable company if the option were to have your outlet installed in the middle of your driveway, under the Camry.

Re: What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

[ QUOTE ]
Evan,

OP didn't say anything about having a crooked doorframe.

[/ QUOTE ]
tuq, it's called perspective. It's been one of the most important developments in art in the last 1,000 years.

Re: What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

[ QUOTE ]
First of all, it makes no economic sense to tip a paper-boy. It's like tipping the cable company.

[/ QUOTE ]

I tip the cable guy for installs only. But it's Christmas, assuming he were a halfway decent paperboy (clearly he's not), I'd have thrown him $20. I tip my barber $50 the week before Christmas.

Re: What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

http://www.ra.ethz.ch/sabbatical2002...garage_big.jpg

Ray

Re: What’s my play: Newspaper constantly delivered under car
 

Sell the car.