onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

This is so well-written, don't want to give a synopsis, but here it goes.

link

Actually, I started writing a synopsis and I changed my mind. Just say that this story is way weird, but wow, I wanted to share it with those that don't live in LA. If people want to read it great. If not, feel free to discuss what you think of on-line dating.

I don't understand it myself. I just bought my first computer about one year ago, and I still don't see anyway that I am more attached to it than I am too life. There are lots of freaks out there, and the thought of finding a woman on-line is out-right frightening to me. My image is in exactly one place on-line, and I am fine with that. I couldn't see myself logging on every morning to meat a someone:

[ QUOTE ]
I point out to Tania that pheromones have a lot to do with mutual attraction — what if the smell’s off?

“Oh, they thought of that,” Tania tells me. They exchanged “special pieces of clothing,” she says.

To smell.

[/ QUOTE ]

and then trying to attract myself to someone. There was one time that I was set up blind with a girl. I knew her sister, and she was very good looking. I thought I hit the lottery. I called and she had a sweet voice. She told me about how she was lying naked on her patio.

[ QUOTE ]
I see you across the room. You see me. Something clicks. We approach. We talk. If there’s some kind of connection between our inner selves — even if it’s just a mutual desire to rub chocolate pudding over each other’s naughty bits — we get on with the business at hand. But the Internet has turned things upside down. Now, things work the other way around. Our inner selves meet and connect, and then we get to the raw, physical-attraction thing. And while it’s painful to learn that someone you find physically attractive doesn’t go for you, how much more painful to find that someone whose soul speaks to you across the series of tubes that make up the World Wide Web doesn’t go for your fat ass and spotty face.

[/ QUOTE ]

Genetics aren't always spread evenly, even among sisters. It didn't help her too much that I was immediate turned off my her. My pager (thank god she didn't have my phone number) was buzzing ten times a day between her and her friend. Some people didn't get the point, but I did know how she felt, and I couldn't see myself taking advantage of her, even though I could. My tastes were also made me feel like I could do better than a size 15, a poorly dressed 15, I might add.

I understand, that yes, many people are alone, and that OL dating has worked for some people. Unfortunately, the bad stuff is so well publicized. There is nothing more than a TV add and on-line testimonials that are all somehow written by aspiring Ian Flemmings. I guess Love does that to you?

Although I have no problems with on-line dating sites myself, I don't know how to think of them existing. They sure are selling an odd dream. I think it is funny that one site I saw bashed another site for not accepting 1,000,000 people. So, they take anyone? Anyone at all? At least that other site had mind enough to ask for a minimum standard psychological review, that I am sure a total idiot could have lied their way through. It is like walking into an employment agency that you know does not require drug testing and telling them that you do drugs, or have done drugs before.

Should these site have any liability at all. I am not suggesting a money-back guarantee on a date fizzling, but what happens if something like this story happens? I do not believe it is anyone's responsibility to protect stupid people from themselves, but using their ignorance may be unfair. Or maybe they are logical people who are vulnerable. Is it correct to add more to the wounds by hanging a carrot?

[ QUOTE ]
We spend much of our lives alone. Some cope with it better than others. The ones who don’t are primed and ready for victimhood. You have to learn to be with yourself, because if you don’t, there’s a whole world of drugs, booze and rotten people who will be your friend until you’ve been sucked dry. Beware of what loneliness makes you do

[/ QUOTE ]

If you were a poster on the Deadwood forum, you are probably somewhat aware of this story.

And of coarse, if you have had success, or any experience dating OL, please tell. I guess that would include the "casual encounters" page on Craigslist, too.

Re: onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

That last quote was an excellent one and runs pretty deep.

I think you can get a great flash of someone's soul in a deep way online, and even find it enormously gratifying and even have it shake you up, but that unfortunately has nothing to do with whether they are your type. The vast majority of us still have physical types, emotional types, political types, class types, whatever, just "types" that we like vastly more than others and likely credit more than they deserve. And we are likely unfairly unreceptive to those who vary from our preferences or preconceptions on what is right for us. Meet them face to face, and all the shared soul in the world may avail one nothing, or nothing for long. It's a shame, because we may never wind up sharing a particularly deep relationship with the people we actually find attract us in real life, if we are even so lucky as to meet or even marry them. It's perverse and unfortunate that some of the deepest sympathies and ideas we find most in accord with the true core of our being may be far from enough to make us happy, and our attempts at happiness may do so little to address what we need to get there.

Some people don't care that much and can try to make a go of anything, and even be successful at it, but the problem with people who are indifferent to their choices is their indifference in general. They are often fabulously successful on a very shallow level, and that doesn't make for things that last or eventually seem worth preserving.

I wouldn't do the online dating thing, but apparently some make it work. It seems a better avenue for making friends, to me, even ones you share some deep things with, than anything else. At that, it can be wonderful, and let you share and hear ideas you can't do otherwise in the narrowness of any particular life.

Re: onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

Nothing to add, but that article was a fascinating read.

Re: onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

"I met Audrey ..."

Uh-oh, I can see where this is going ...

Re: onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

[ QUOTE ]
"I met Audrey ..."

Uh-oh, I can see where this is going ...

[/ QUOTE ]


LOOL! Biggest laugh of the week.

Re: onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"I met Audrey ..."

Uh-oh, I can see where this is going ...

[/ QUOTE ]


LOOL! Biggest laugh of the week.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's a gas, but for those not reading: YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

Re: onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

I can't read it right now! I'm working! Can't you summarize it for me?

Re: onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

I would think men are too visual for online dating to be successful and yet I've heard that it works. I actually know a couple people who have met through online dating. The chemistry and dynamic between them is pretty interesting. I think people should try it and keep a very open mind.



[ QUOTE ]
There are lots of freaks out there, and the thought of finding a woman on-line is out-right frightening to me.

[/ QUOTE ]


I always felt the same way. I had this image that there were a lot of weirdos and freaks online. Once I asked a 2+2er if he thought people on the internet were dangerous or "weird" and to my surprise he said no. He said internet people are no more dangerous than anywhere else you go. He implied it was in my imagination.

Re: onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

[ QUOTE ]
I can't read it right now! I'm working! Can't you summarize it for me?

[/ QUOTE ]

I am terrible at writing summaries. It would be like reading about a tree falling in Alaska. No drama, no noise, no need to care, really.

If someone else would like to give it a shot, please do. I made it a two-sided thread so the conversation can include everyone who does and does not have time to read it. I would hope that simply talking about the story would bring other people up to speed.

Re: onlide \"dating:\" interesting article
 

Just finished reading the story. It's well worth the read. That's some crazy stuff and it reinforces my take on internet "friendships" too.