What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

Life can be very cruel at times. So many people take for granted all the good things they have, never knowing that it can be taken away at an instant.

For me, growing up my mother had brain cancer in the 70s. Surgery, chemotherapy and radiation took their toll and she slowly got more and more frail. My father, raising 3 children, working full time, etc., did a great job taking care of his ailing wife.

But then 2 weeks after I got married, my father had a MASSIVE stroke (age 49) that left him with intense brain damage, half paralyzed, unable to speak ever again (aphasia), just totally ruined his life. Unfortunately, he would live 20 more years in nursing homes (would have been MUCH better if the stoke had killed him, oh the horror of it all). A few months after the stroke our mom died. Then my sister went into a tailspin with eating disorders that nearly killed her. That was a lot to deal with, to say the least.

Somehow my brother, sister and I got thru it all and today we're very healthy and close. But wow those days were quite horrific. We learned tho how important family is in dealing with tough times like these. And we also know that other people have problems even worse.

So, what huge scars do you have from past tragic events? How did you get thru it all? Any lessons learned?

L8r.. BB

Re: What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

One night I was out drinking with friends, we were on our way home and I got pulled over and drunk-tested on a bridge (the Texas Street bridge if you know anything about the Shreveport-Bossier bridge). I never should have drove, but the cop let me go and I made it home safely. Slept for a few hours and woke up to watch Kansas, Kentucky, & Duke (my three least favorite college b-ball teams) lose. All in all a wonderful day.

The next morning I find out that my mom has cancer. It seems at this point that she will get treatment and things could be okay. Within two weeks she is admitted into the ICU and put on a respirator. Within two more weeks she dies.

Aside from the obvious tragedy of having a parent die, I think what made it worse was that it wasn't an instantaneous death. Rather things were fine, then bad news from the doctor, then a steady unchecked descent into death is what was so tragic about it.

Things I learned:
* Obviously don't drink and drive
-I added the first part because what I found so surprising is that I had a great day of not going to jail to a terrible day of finding out my mom had cancer, which leads to thing I learned number 2
* Sadly, whenever something great happens to me now, I can't help but to get anxious/nervous and expect the other shoe to drop, with something tragically horrible following the good.
- Others
* My mom was was my favorite member of my family, and I miss her dearly.
* Staying in hospitals for a prolonged period of time sucks

How did I get through it. I just kept waking up and going about my life. At times it's hard, still two years later, and I don't expect that to change for the rest of my life. However, I don't think constantly grieving is productive, or would be something my mother would want.

That's that, I'm depressed as [censored] now.

Re: What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

My mom finding an old high school boyfriend on the Internet, and leaving my father for him. She was 60, and they had been married for 40 years.

WTF?

Re: What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

my dad died of cancer a couple years ago, but its looking like that's covered already, so i'm gonna add one about some friends of mine.

Two people i know just got married at the beginning of september. they're both 23. He died of a heart attack at the end of september. He wasn't overweight, or unhealthy that anyone could tell. I don't know for sure, heard a rumor that it might've been because of a blood clot that formed on the plane to/from their honeymoon. i guess because i am also 23 and have a long term girlfriend, i pretty much think it couldn't get much worse than what happened to them.

Re: What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

Marriage is pretty much terminal anyway. Lucky guy didnt have to wait 20+ years of hoping to die

Re: What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

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Marriage is pretty much terminal anyway. Lucky guy didnt have to wait 20+ years of hoping to die

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Inappropriate.

Re: What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

Meh, after the honeymoon the marriage is downhill

Re: What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

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That's that, I'm depressed as [censored] now.

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Sorry, didn't mean to start this tread to get people depressed. Contrary, I find it inspirational to hear about people who have gone thru tough tragic times, and somehow survive it all and what they've learned as a result.

Man, to only live in a hospital for a month before dying, that can be a huge blessing. Too many people waste away for years in institutions before the peace of death finally arrives.

L8r.. BB

Re: What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
That's that, I'm depressed as [censored] now.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, didn't mean to start this tread to get people depressed. Contrary, I find it inspirational to hear about people who have gone thru tough tragic times, and somehow survive it all and what they've learned as a result.

Man, to only live in a hospital for a month before dying, that can be a huge blessing. Too many people waste away for years in institutions before the peace of death finally arrives.

L8r.. BB

[/ QUOTE ]

It's all good. I'm better now. Writing just dredges up alot of emotions.

Re: What is the most tragic thing you\'ve ever had to deal with
 

I've had some similar stuff. I'm 39 and the generation before me is older. Almost every has to or will have to deal with this stuff.

One of the worst situations I've ever even heard of is in my family though. One of my relatives had an infant daughter that was killed by the father who then tried to beat her to death, leaving her for dead with some brain damage. Not long after that she cancer and had to go through chemotherapy.

She's recovered physically, is generally very upbeat, and extremely supportive whenever anyone else needs help in the family.